(Enter Lady CRITICK, CANKER, HEARTLY, HARRIET and Sir PATRICK)
Lady. Well, I protest Mr. Canker, I am surprized at your Judgment. You will certainly be laughed at by all the Polite part of the World.
Cank. Madam, I hold the Vulgar in as much Contempt as I do the Rabble in the Shilling Gallery; both Herds are ignorant, and praise and condemn, or censure or applau[d], not from a Judgment in the Art, which should be the Director, but from the ignorant Dictates of Nature: mere Affection, like Moliere's old Woman.
Heart. Well, for my Part, I shall always prefer the irregular Genius who from mere Affection compels me to laugh or cry, to the regular Blockhead who makes me sleep according to Rule.
Cank. Have a Care, Mr. Heartly, none but the Ignorant ever despised Rules.
Heart. Nor none but the ill natured or the envious ever judged by the Extremity of Rules. And the laws of Criticism like the Penal Laws should be explained in a favourable Sense lest the Critick like the Judge should be suspected of Cruelty or Malice against the Criminal.
Sir Pat. Upon my Honour, Sir, I think you talk mighty reasonably. I think there should be no Law [at] all, and then everybody might do what they please.
Trif. Right, right, Sir Patrick! Liberty and Property, I say—demme I am not for Criticks—your Homers and your Virgils—and your Coke upon Littleton, and a parcel of Fellows—who talk of Nothing but Gods and Goddesses—and a Story of a Cock and a Bull—as hard to be understood as a Welch Pedigree.
Sir Pat. Upon my Honour, so they are very hard! And that Milton's a strange Fellow too—he has got a devilish sight of Devils along with him that nobody knows any thing of but himself—the Devil a one of 'em all I know but one—and that was old Belzebub—you know we have often heard of him, for he was Lucifer's Wife.
Trif. For my Part I assure you I never could understand Milton.