“The census?” muses Smith, ignoring the population entirely. “I don’t know if they take the census, but they take your taxes with great regularity,” he declares with a laugh. Then follows a pleasant ten minutes with Smith, during which the reason of your introduction to him does not recur, and after precisely the same thing has happened several other times with several other persons, you would almost rather start a revolution than an inquiry into the population of Barranca.
The specific instance is perhaps a trivial one, but it is typical, and, as I said, you are for a time amazed and irritated, on asking intelligent questions about the federal and state governments, the judiciary, the army, education, morality, and even so obvious a matter as the climate, to receive from American acquaintances replies that are never accurate and rarely as much as inaccurately definite. Some of them frankly admit that, as they never have had personal relations with the establishments you seek to learn about (barring the climate), they have not taken the trouble to inform themselves. Others appear to experience a belated regret at their long indifference, promise to look the matter up and let you know. But they never do, and it is rather discouraging. You yearn to acquire a respectably comprehensive idea of the conditions in which you are living, yet the only people with whom you can carry on any but a most staccato and indispensable conversation are unable to throw light. So, being the only one really intelligent foreigner in the republic, you resort to the medium of art, and begin to read books.
Everyone you know has at some time or other read and enjoyed Prescott’s “Conquest,” but it does not emerge that on the subject of Mexico they have ever read anything else, and for a while you quietly revel in your mental alertness and superior intelligence. You are learning all about the country—its institutions and laws, its products and habits—while your listless friends still sit in darkness. Then one fine morning something happens—something of no especial importance, but something that nevertheless serves to insert the thin edge of suspicion’s wedge between you and your learning.
You have, for instance, read that “in virtue of the constitution adopted February 5, 1857, arrest is prohibited, save in the case of crimes meriting corporal punishment,” and it has seemed to you a wise and just provision. You have also, let us say, employed two competent stone masons to build a coffee tank, a fireplace, a pigpen, or some such useful accessory of life in the tropics, and you become much disturbed when, after they have worked steadily and well for three or four days, they fail to appear. That afternoon as you stroll through the plaza lamenting their perfidy, you are astonished at receiving two friendly, sheepish greetings from two sheepish, friendly stone masons who are engaged in laying municipal cobblestones, together with thirty or forty other prisoners, under the eyes of several heavily armed policemen. Unmistakably they are your masons, and with much bewilderment you demand of Smith—who, no doubt, is strolling with you—just what it means.
“It merely means,” Smith explains, “that the town is repairing part of the plaza pavement and needs competent masons. So they arrested yours.”
“But on what grounds?”
“Oh, drunkenness probably.”
“Do you suppose they were drunk? They seemed like very steady men.”
“Why, they may have been a trifle elated,” Smith laughs. “The assumption that they were isn’t a particularly startling one in this part of the world. But that wasn’t why they were arrested. They were arrested because they were good masons and the city happens to need them. If they hadn’t been drunk, some one would have been sent out to make them so—never, unfortunately, a very arduous undertaking.”
“Oh, indeed; how simple and efficacious!” you murmur, and go home to read some more.