"And—and you"—Billy paused for breath and danced excitedly about the room—"and you did not—you—you, oh—Maxwelton's braes—and you—Ah, well, there is nothing to be gained by talking to you upon that subject. What do you think of the administration? Jackson is a hickory blockhead, eh? Congress a stupendous aggregation of asses. Yes, everybody is an ass, of course; but there is one who is monumental. Monumental, I say. Monu—ah, well—Maxwelton's braes are bonny—um—um—um—um—damn!" And Billy sat down disgusted, turning his face from Dic.
After a long pause Dic spoke: "I believe you are right, Billy Little. I should have brought her."
"Believe—" cried the angry little friend. "Don't you know it? The pons asinorum is a mere hypothesis compared to the demonstration in this case."
"But she was not of age, and could not marry without her parents' consent," said Dic. "Had I brought her home, we could have found no one to perform the ceremony."
"I would have done it quickly enough; I am a justice of the peace. I could have done it as well as forty preachers. I should have been fined for transgressing the law in marrying you without a license, but I would have done it, and it would have been as legal as if it had taken place in a cathedral. We could have paid the fine between us."
"Well, what's to be done?" asked Dic, after a long, awkward pause. "It's not too late."
"Yes, it's too late," answered Billy. "I wash my hands of the whole affair. When a man can get a girl like Rita, and throws away his chance, he's beyond hope. I supposed you had bought her for twenty-six hundred dollars—you will never see a penny of it again—and a bargain at the price. She is worth twenty-six hundred million; but if you could not buy her, you should have borrowed, stolen, kidnapped—anything to get her. Now what do you think of yourself?"
"Not much, Billy Little, not much," answered Dic, regretfully. "But you should have said all this to me long ago. Advice after the fact is like meat after a feast—distasteful."
"Ah, you are growing quite epigrammatic," said Billy, snappishly; "but there is some truth in your contention. We will begin again. When we see Rita, we will formulate a plan and try to thwart Justice."
"What plan have you in mind?" asked Dic, eager to discuss the subject.