Mr. Merchant: I have put more work into the question of our Government issues of money than into any subject in my life in the same length of time, principally because I knew Mr. Farmer used to be what we called a Green-backer some years ago and I wanted to be ready if he happened to still entertain those ideas and was still subject to those fits of madness that came over him before he paid off the mortgage on his farm. But that's ancient history now, and he's holding the mortgage on the other fellow's farm. Now, Mr. Farmer, don't get hot, for I don't mean any disrespect to you, but only to recall that craze for fiat money when you and I were much younger than we are now. Then again, you seem to have had a real revelation during our last talk, and to have been converted to the principle that there could be too much paper money.
Mr. Farmer: That's all right, Mr. Merchant, but I well remember that I was not alone when I used to advocate greenbacks without limit. Mr. Banker over there was in the same boat with me.
Mr. Banker: Right you are, Mr. Farmer, and there was not a man in this immediate neighborhood then except old Judge Jones who did not agree with us, but we've traveled some since then.
Mr. Lawyer: Well, gentlemen, I am a little surprised to find you all so completely convinced that Government issues of money are to be condemned before a fair trial. I half imagine that Mr. Manufacturer over there will sympathize with me in my contention for the constitutional power, and the wisdom of issuing United States Notes.
Mr. Manufacturer: You are very sadly mistaken about me; I am ready to prove that you are mistaken, both as to the wisdom and constitutional right of the Government to issue money even if you are a lawyer, and ought to know all about the constitution. I don't claim to know very much about the money question, generally speaking, but like Mr. Merchant I have made a special study of this particular feature of it. I am convinced there is only one side to this question, however many sides there may be to some other phases of it, and we do not have to leave the history of our own country for overwhelming proof of the folly of it. I for one do not believe that the Government has any constitutional right to issue money.
Mr. Lawyer: Well, Well!
Mr. Merchant: We'll make you say "well, well" before we get through with you, if it takes till morning.
Mr. Manufacturer: It won't take until morning and when we get through with him, he will be finished for fair, I think.
Mr. Laboringman: We are evidently going to have some fun tonight. You seem to think that you have Mr. Lawyer in chancery. Now, blaze away. I want you to nail Mr. Lawyer on the greenback question, if you can; for he has been getting the best of you on several occasions; personally, I hope I will never get any less of the greenbacks as they are good enough for me.
Mr. Merchant: But they are not good enough for you, Mr. Laboringman, nor for anyone else, if they are not worth one hundred cents on the dollar; or if they are ever liable to be worth less than one hundred cents on the dollar; or if they are teaching an economic falsehood, so long as they remain in existence; or if they are positively doing the business interests of the country actual harm by excluding a corresponding amount of gold, and finally, if they have no legal right for existence today, even though one may admit for the sake of the argument that it was necessary to issue them to save the nation, an admission which I will not make.