Mrs. C. (putting down her spoon and drinking her coffee). You are aw-fully stupid—when you want to be, my dear.
Mr. C. (rising quickly and going over to the telephone). You needn’t take my word for it. We’ll have some one else’s opinion. (Takes down the receiver.) Hello! Give me Main 203. (Turns to Mrs. C.) I’m going to talk with Joe Williams. He’s head of the Wholesale Milk Company. (Speaking into ’phone.) Hello! Is this Joe? I’m John Clark. You see, Joe, my wife and I have had a slight dispute. She declares up and down that the milk we are using on our breakfast table is cream, and not milk at all. I say that it’s milk—no matter whether it’s in a cream-pitcher or not. She says that as long as it’s in a cream-pitcher it’s cream and not milk. Now, Joe, am I right? It’s milk, because I have drunk some of it and I remember that Mrs. Clark told me this morning the milkman had forgotten to leave the cream. (Pauses a moment.) What’s that? You think I am right, but you are going to ask your wife and will call me up soon? Thank you, Joe. (He replaces the receiver and returns to his chair.)
Mrs. C. (with a sweet smile). I am sorry, John, that you have had to call for assistance, but Mrs. Williams will, I am sure, wholly agree with me.
Mr. C. (sourly). Well, I was brought up on a farm and I ought to know the difference between milk and cream.
Mrs. C. (with a very sweet smile). I guess you were brought up on a farm all right.
Mr. C. (angrily). So were you! I found it out only a short time ago. (Laughing softly.) Ha! ha! ha!
Mrs. C. (mimicking him). Ha! ha! ha! ha! Now, I’m not going to lose my temper, whatever you may say. I never get angry myself—no, never!
(The telephone rings.)
Mr. C. (hastening to the telephone). Now we shall see! (Takes down the receiver.) Hello! Hello, Joe. Oh, good morning, Mrs. Williams. How do you do? Yes, thank you, both my wife and I are pretty well. What did you say? (Listens while she is speaking.) Is that so? It is? I understand. What did you say? Oh, of course socially—yes—yes! No, our dispute is not serious; only a difference of opinion. As I told your husband a very slight difference. Thank you for your trouble, Mrs. Williams. Will you please ask Mr. Williams to come to the telephone a moment? O! He has gone for the day? Thank you—good-bye. (Impatiently hangs up the receiver.)
Mrs. C. (laughing heartily). Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! What did I tell you, John? Didn’t Mrs. Williams agree wholly with me?