Fifty Years in the Church of Rome

by Charles Paschal Telesphore Chiniquy

“And he answered, and said unto them: my mother and brethren are those who will hear the word of God and do it.” (Luke viii: 19, 20, 21.)

It then seemed to me as if those three Evangelists said to me: “How dare you preach, with your apostate and lying church, that Jesus has always granted all the petitions of Mary, when we were ordered by God to write and proclaim that all the public petitions she had presented to him, when working as the Son of God, and the Saviour of the world, had been answered by a public rebuke?”

What could I answer? How could I stand the rebuke of these three Evangelists? Trembling from head to foot, I fell upon my knees, crying to the Virgin Mary to come to my help and pray that I might not succumb to this temptation, and lose my faith and confidence in her. But the more I prayed, the louder the voice seemed to say: “How dare you preach that Jesus has always granted the petitions of Mary, when we tell you the contrary by the order of God himself?”

My desolation became such, that a cold sweat covered my whole frame again; my head was aching, and I think I would have fainted had I not been released by a torrent of tears. In my distress, I cried: “Oh! my God! my God! look down upon me in thy mercy; strengthen my faith in thy Holy Church! Grant me to follow her voice and obey her commands with more and more fidelity; she is thy beloved church. She cannot err. She cannot be an apostate church.” But in vain I wept and cried for help. My whole being was filled with dismay and terror from the voices of the three witnesses, who were crying louder and louder.

“How dare you preach that Christ has always granted the petitions of Mary, when the gospels, written under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, tell you so clearly the contrary?”

When I had, in vain, wept, prayed, cried, and struggled from ten at night till three in the morning; the miraculous change of water into wine, by Christ, at the request of his mother, suddenly came to my mind. I felt a momentary relief from my terrible distress, by the hope that I could prove to myself that, in this case the Saviour had obeyed the demands of his holy mother. I eagerly opened my Bible again and read:

“And the third day there was a marriage in Cana, of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there.

“And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage. And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus said unto him, they have no wine. Jesus saith unto her: Woman, what have I to do with thee? Mine hour is not yet come.

“His mother saith unto the servants: whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.” (John ii: 2.)

Till that hour, I had always accepted that text in the sense given in the Church of Rome, as proving that the very first miracle of Jesus Christ was wrought at the request of his mother. And I was preparing myself to answer the three mysterious witnesses: “Here is the proof that you are three devils, and not three evangelists, when you tell me that Jesus has never granted the petitions of his mother, except when a child. Here is the glorious title of Mary to my confidence in her intercession; here is the seal of her irresistible superhuman power over her divine son; here is the undeniable evidence that Jesus cannot refuse anything asked by his divine mother!” But when, armed with these explanations of the church, I was preparing to meet what Matthew, St. Mark, and St. Luke had just told me, a sudden distressing thought came to my mind; and this thought was as if I heard the three witnesses saying: “How can you be so blind as not to see that instead of being a favor granted to Mary, this first miracle is the first opportunity chosen by Christ to protest against her intercession. It is a solemn warning to Mary never to ask anything from him, and to us, never to put any confidence in her requests. Here, Mary, evidently full of compassion for those poor people, who had not the means to provide the wine for the guests who had come with Jesus, wants her Son to give them the wine they wanted. How does Christ answer her requests? He answers it by a rebuke, a most solemn rebuke. Instead of saying: “Yes, mother, I will do as you wish,” he says, “Woman, what have I to do with thee?” which clearly means “Woman, thou hast nothing to do in this matter. I do not want you to speak to me of the bridegroom’s distress. It was my desire to come to their help and show my divine power. I do not want you to put yourself between the wants of humanity and me. I do not want the world to believe that you had any right, any power or influence over me, or more compassion on the miseries of man than I have. Is it not to me, and me alone, the lost children of Adam must look to be saved? Woman, what have I to do with thee in my great work of saving this perishing world? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I know what I have to do to fulfill, not your will, but my Father’s will!”