Damage Done by a Party of Electrons
When a myriad of electrons is discharged suddenly from a cloud to the earth, it happens sometimes that considerable damage is done. The above photograph is of a church steeple damaged by lightning in 1875. No lightning-conductor was provided, so the electrons had to get to earth by way of the steeple itself, with the disastrous result as shown.
One learned man thought he had hit upon a good idea. He tried to crowd a tremendous number of us into some water contained in a glass jar. Without condescending to think of us, he crowded an enormous number of electrons from one of his rubbing machines along a piece of chain which led them into water. The overcrowding was appalling, for it was impossible to escape through the glass vessel. Things had reached a terrible state, when the experimenter stopped the machine and put forward his hand to lift the chain out of the water. Now was the chance of escape, so the whole excited crowd made one wild rush to earth by way of the experimenter's body. The rapid surging to and fro of the crowd racked the man's muscles. I wish I had been there to see him jump; they say it was something grand. You can imagine how the little sinners enjoyed the joke; they knew they were safe, as man had no idea of their existence at that time.
Another man was foolhardy enough to try a similar experiment, and they say that his alarm was even greater; indeed, he swore he would not take another shock even for the crown of France. We were all eager to get opportunities of alarming man, not that we wished him any harm, but we thought he might pay us a little more attention.
I remember one occasion upon which some of us were boasting of what we had done in the way of alarming men, whereupon one fellow-electron rather belittled our doings. He maintained that he had jumped all the way from a cloud to the earth, along with a crowd of other electrons. In doing so they had scared the inhabitants of a whole village, for they alighted upon the steeple of a church, and in their wild rush they played such havoc among the atoms composing the steeple that they did considerable outward damage to the great structure.
I may as well confess that we are not free agents in performing these gigantic jumps; we are compelled to go with the crowd when things are in such a state of stress. We simply cannot hold on to the atoms of matter upon which we happen to be located. It is only under very considerable pressure that we can perform this class of jump, and I beg to assure you that we are perfectly helpless in those cases where we have been dashed upon some poor creature with a message of death.
Alas! on one occasion I was one of a party who killed a very learned man. It was most distasteful to us; we could not possibly prevent it. He had erected a long rod which extended up into the air, and terminated at the lower end in his laboratory. Some of us who were in the upper atmosphere were forced on to this iron rod, and from past experience we quite expected that we should be subjected to a sudden expulsion to earth. Indeed we were waiting for the experimenter to provide us with a means of escape, when suddenly he brought his head too near to the end of the rod, and in a moment we were dashed to earth through his body. We learned with deep regret that the poor man had been robbed of his life.
To turn to something of a happier nature, I shall proceed to tell you of some of my earliest recollections. Remember I shall be speaking of a time long before man existed—even before this great planet was a solid ball.