With this his spirits mounted, and he indulged in a harmless and favourite fiction: he feigned the company were all males and medical students, Osmond included, and he the lecturer. “Now, jintlemen,” said he, “obsairve the great Therey of the Perriodeecity and Remitteney of all disease, in conjunckshin with its practice. All diseases have paroxysms and remissions, which occur at intervals; sometimes it's a year, sometimes a day, an hour, ten minutes; but whatever th' interval, they are true to it: they keep time. Only when the disease is retirin, the remissions become longer, the paroxysms return at a greater interval, and just the revairse when the pashint is to die. This, jintlemen, is man's life from the womb to the grave: the throes that precede his birth are remittent like ivery thing else, but come at diminished intervals when he has really made up his mind to be born (his first mistake, sirs, but not his last); and the paroxysms of his mortal disease come at shorter intervals when he is really goon off the hooks: but still chronometrically; just as watches keep time whether they go fast or slow. Now, jintlemen, isn't this a beautiful Therey?”
“Oh, mercy! Oh, good people help me! Oh, Jesus Christ have pity on me!” And the sufferer's body was bent like a bow, and his eyes filled with horror, and his toes pointed at his chin.
The Doctor hurled himself on the foe. “Come,” said he, “smell to this, lad! That's right! He is better already, jintlemen, or he couldn't howl, ye know. Deevil a howl in um before I gave um puff chlorofm. Ah! would ye? would ye?”
“Oh! oh! oh! oh! ugh!——ah!”
The Doctor got off the insensible body, and resumed his lecture calmly, like one who has disposed of some childish interruption. “And now to th' application of the Therey: If the poison can reduce the tin minutes' interval to five minutes, this pashint will die; and if I can get the tin minutes up t' half hour, this pashint will live. Any way, jintlemen, we won't detain y' unreasonably: the case shall be at an end by one o'clock.”
On hearing this considerate stipulation, up went three women's aprons to their eyes.
“Alack! poor James Maxley! he is at his last hour: it be just gone twelve, and a dies at one.”
Sampson turned on the weepers. “Who says that, y' ijjits? I said the case would end at one: a case ends when the pashint gets well or dies.”
“Oh, that is good news for poor Susan Maxley; her man is to be well by one o'clock, Doctor says.”
Sampson groaned, and gave in. He was strong, but not strong enough to make the populance suspend an opinion.