“Badham, of Wadham.”
“Badham o' Wadham? Hear that, ye tuneful nine! Well, Badham o' Wadham, you are no acquaintance of mine; so you may possibly not be a fool. Let us assume by way of hypothesis that you are a man of sense, a man of reason as well as of rhyme. Then follow my logic. Hardie of Exeter is a good man in a boat when he has not got a headache.
“When he has got a headache, Hardie of Exeter is not worth a straw in a boat.
“Hardie of Exeter has a headache now.
“Ergo, the university would put the said Hardie into a race, headache and all, and reduce defeat to a certainty.
“And, ergo, on the same premises, I, not being an egotist, nor an ass, have taken Hardie of Exeter and his headache out of the boat, as I should have done any other cripple.
“Secondly, I have put the best man on the river into this cripple's place.
“Total, I have given the university the benefit of my brains; and the university, not having brains enough to see what it gains by the exchange, turns again and rends me, like an animal frequently mentioned in Scripture; but, nota bene, never once with approbation.”
And the afflicted Rhetorician attempted a diabolical grin, but failed signally; and groaned instead.
“Is this your answer to the university, sir?”