“Speak on the question, Mr. Barnaby!� roared the Moderator.
“I am speaking on the question, Mr. Moderator—when the demon tongues of fire leap up in the basement, and threaten your lovely home, threaten to envelop in their horrible embrace all that you hold dearest on earth,—that fond wife and loving mother and that darling infant on the mother’s breast,—�
“Come to the point, Mr. Barnaby!�
“I am coming to the point, Mr. Moderator, just as fast as I can, but you make me lose my place. When the devouring flames, Mr. Moderator, threaten to embrace that fond wife and loving mother and darling infant on the mother’s breast,—it is the watchful eye of the vigilant policeman, Mr. Moderator—,�
The allusion to the “vigilant policemen� of Papyrus was the last straw. The audience reveled in such a fit of uncontrolled laughter that Uncle Jerry never proceeded further. Meanwhile the friends of the policemen thought it a favorable time to take a vote.
“Question!� shouted one.
“Question!� echoed a hundred. The policemen won.
The most important question taken up was that of a sewer. Physicians and others testified to the wretched sanitary conditions which made Papyrus one of the most unhealthy towns in the state, for the lack of a sewer. Deacon Surface, the most adroit speaker in Papyrus, answered them. He said that the taxes were too high. At the proper time the “men who owned the town� would be ready for a sewer, but not yet. He omitted to say that the Baldwins paid taxes on less than half the true value of their property in Papyrus. He omitted to say, also, that the Baldwins had recently given to the city of Elmfield, for something much less needed than a sewer, a larger sum than it would cost to build several sewer-systems for Papyrus. The Deacon’s speech was eloquent, polished, and well-rounded—a beautiful bubble, needing only the pinpoint of truth to explode it. Ford Hulbert was just thinking it his duty to apply the pin to the bubble, when the irrepressible Barnaby rose.
“Mr. Moderator,� piped the wild-eyed little man.
“Mr. Barnaby,� groaned the Moderator.