I [The Beauty Contest]
II [A Close Shave]
III [Enter Mr. Batchelor]
IV [And When I Dine]
V [A Plan and a Telegram]
VI [What Is Heaven Like]
VII [Watermelon Yields]
VIII [Gratitude Is a Flower]
IX [On the Road]
X [The Deserted House]
XI [A Night's Lodging]
XII [The Key to the Situation]
XIII [Only to be Lost]
XIV [Billy, Billy Everywhere]
XV [Love in Idleness]
XVI [A Thief in the Night]
XVII [Alphonse Rides Away]
XVIII [Oh, For a Horse]
XIX [A Broker Prince]
XX [The Seven O'Clock Express]
XXI [Rich and Poor Alike]
XXII [The Truth At Last]
XXIII [Back to the Road]
XXIV [The Poet or the Poodle]
XXV [As He Said He Would]
HE COMES UP SMILING
CHAPTER I
THE BEAUTY CONTEST
"You have a phiz on yer," said the Watermelon with rare candor, "that would make a mangy pup unhappy."
"I suppose you think yer Venus," sneered James, a remark that he flattered himself was rather "classy."
The Watermelon sighed as one would over the ignorance of a child. "No," said he, "hardly."
"Don't let that bloomin' modesty of yers keep yer from tellin' the truth," adjured James.
The Watermelon waved the possibility aside with airy grace. "With all due modesty, James," said he, "I can't claim to be a woman."
"Not with that hay on yer mug," agreed Mike, casting a sleepy eye upward from where he lay in lazy content in the long, sweet grasses under the butternut tree.