She took herself to task for it. Suppose that the worst should come, that she had to meet him again! Was it likely that in this altered position he would know her? It was most unlikely, most improbable. Suppose that she met him in a ball-room—where it was most probable they would meet—and they were introduced to each other as strangers! Well, even then, she had nerve enough, courage enough, to look at him and fail to recognize him. She would, at the worst, solemnly swear that he was mistaken, and he—well, for his own sake, it was most improbable that he would dare to mention the terms upon which they had lived. Nothing but shame and dislike of all good people could follow such an avowal on his part. It would do him ten thousand times more harm than good.
"So I need not fear," she said to herself. "I have no reason to be afraid, even if I should meet him face to face to-day!"
She did not feel the least regret or remorse for her sin. For her lost innocence, her fair fame, her soul's welfare, she cared but little—yet she would have given much if she had avoided this wrong, not because it was wrong, but because the penalty of it might be unpleasant.
In the bright heaven of her full content it was the one dark cloud; to the full glory of her most brilliant triumph it was the one drawback.
Ah! if they knew—if the royal hearts that leaned so kindly toward her even dreamed of what she had been—farewell to her sweet dream of court favor. If the innocent young princess who had professed so much liking for her only ever so faintly suspected one half of the horrible truth, farewell to all kindly words! Why, if the handsome earl, her father, dreamed of it, he would send her adrift at once!
She shrugged her white shoulders and said to herself, over and over again, that she must keep her secret. When she was once married, her fortune assured—settled upon her beyond recall—then it would not matter so much. Besides, there were ways out of all difficulties. She held up her white, jeweled hands and looked steadfastly at them.
"Smaller, weaker fingers than these have robbed a man of his life," she said to herself. "If the worst comes, I have an example in history that I should know how to follow."
And indeed it would have fared badly with any one who stood in the path of Lady Doris Studleigh.
There was a great dinner that evening at Hyde House. A Russian grand duke, a German prince, and just the very elite of London were among those present. The Countess of Linleigh was a perfect hostess; and in Lady Doris Studleigh's bright presence there was never any want of brilliancy or wit.
It was Lord Charter who mentioned her lover's name. He turned to Lord Linleigh and asked him if he had seen Lord Charles Vivianne lately.