‘Better so,’ said Clarence, half choked, ‘than go profanely—deceiving—or not knowing whether I shall—’
Just then we heard our father wishing the other gentlemen good-night, and to our surprise Clarence opened the door, though he was deadly white and with dew starting on his forehead.
My father turned good-naturedly. ‘Boys, boys, you are glad to be together, but mamma won’t have you talking here all night, keeping her baby up.’
‘Sir,’ said Clarence, holding by the rail of the bed, ‘I was waiting for you. I have something to tell you—’
The words that followed were incoherent and wrong end foremost; nor had many, indeed, been uttered before my father cut them short with—
‘No false excuses, sir; I know you too well to listen. Go. I have ceased to hope for anything better.’
Clarence went without a word, but Griff and I burst out with entreaties to be listened to. Our father thought at first that ours were only the pleadings of partiality, and endeavours to shield the brother we both so heartily loved; but when he understood the circumstances, the real amount of the transgression, and Clarence’s rejection of our united advice and assistance to conceal it, he was greatly touched and softened. ‘Poor lad! poor fellow!’ he muttered, ‘he is really doing his best. I need not have cut him so short. I was afraid of more falsehoods if I let him open his mouth. I’ll go and see.’
He went off, and we remained in suspense, Griff observing that he had done his best, but poor Bill always would be a fool, and that no one who had not always lived at home like me would have let out that we had been for the suppression policy. As I was rather shocked, he went off to bed, saying he should look in to see what remained of Clarence after the pelting of the pitiless storm he was sure to bring on himself by his ridiculous faltering instead of speaking out like a man.
I longed to have been able to do the same, but my father kindly came back to relieve my mind by telling me that he was better satisfied about Clarence than ever he had been before. When encouraged to speak out, the narrative of the temptation had so entirely agreed with what we had said as to show there had been no prevarication, and this had done more to convince my father that he was on the right track than the having found him on his knees. He had had a patient hearing, and thus was able to command his nerves enough to explain himself, and it had ended in my father giving entire forgiveness for what, as Griff truly said, would have been a mere trifle but for the past. The voluntary confession had much impressed my father, and he could not help adding a word of gentle reproof to me for having joined in aiding him to withhold it, but he accepted my explanation and went away, observing, ‘By the by, I don’t wonder at what Griffith says of that room; I never heard such strange effects of currents of air.’
Clarence was in my room before I was drest, full of our father’s ‘wonderful goodness’ to him. He had never experienced anything like it, he said. ‘Why! he really seemed hopeful about me,’ were words uttered with a gladness enough to go to one’s heart. ‘O Edward, I feel as if there was some chance of “steadfastly purposing” this time.’