Formal folks, such as we were, had to sit in our chairs; and when he came back apologising for not dressing, as he had left his portmanteau for the carrier, he looked so white and ill that we were quite shocked, and began to realise what he had suffered. He could not eat the food that was brought back for him, and allowed that his head was aching dreadfully; but, after a glass of wine had been administered, it was extracted that he had met Mr. Frith at the office door, and been gruffly told that Mr. Castleford was satisfied, and he might consider himself acquitted.
‘And then I had your letter, sir, thank you,’ said Clarence, scarcely restraining his tears.
‘The thanks are on our side, my dear boy,’ said Mr. Castleford. ‘I must talk it over with you, but not till you have had a night’s rest. You look as if you had not known one for a good while.’
Clarence gave a sort of trembling smile, not trusting himself to speak. Approbation at home was so new and strange to him that he could scarcely bear it, worn out as he was by nearly a month of doubt, distress, apprehension, and self-debate.
My mother went herself to hasten the preparation of his room, and after she had sent him to bed went again to satisfy herself that he was comfortable and not feverish. She came back wiping away a tear, and saying he had looked up at her just as when she had the three of us in our nursery cribs. In truth these two had seldom been so happy together since those days, though the dear mother, while thankful that he had not failed, was little aware of the conflict his resolution had cost him, and the hot journey and long walk came in for more blame for his exhaustion than they entirely deserved.
My father perhaps understood more of the trial; for when she came back, declaring that all that was needed was sleep, and forbidding me to go to my room before bedtime, he said he must bid the boy good-night.
And he spoke as his reserve would have never let him speak at any other time, telling Clarence how deeply thankful he felt for the manifestation of such truthfulness and moral courage as he said showed that the man had conquered the failings of the boy.
Nevertheless, when I retired for the night, it was to find Clarence asleep indeed, but most uneasily, tossing, moaning, and muttering broken sentences about ‘disgracing his pennant,’ ‘never bearing to see mamma’s face’—and the like. I thought it a kindness to wake him, and he started up. ‘Ted, is it you? I thought I should never hear your dear old crutch again! Is it really all right’—then, sitting up and passing his hand over his face, ‘I always mix it up with the old affair, and think the court-martial is coming again.’
‘There’s all the difference now.’
‘Thank God! yes—He has dragged me through! But it did not seem so in one’s sleep, nor waking neither—though sleep is worst, and happily there was not much of that! Sit down, Ted; I want to look at you. I can’t believe it is not three weeks since I saw you last.’