“What is that—you never meant it? I never supposed you capable of such an unladylike design. You mean that you were taken by surprise?”
“No; I did see what he was at,” and she hung her head.
“You guessed his intentions?”
“Yes, papa; but I didn’t want—”
“Try to explain yourself,” said Sir Jasper as she broke off.
“I—I did wish to go on improving myself and being useful. Surely it was not wrong, papa. Don’t you see, I did not want to let myself be worried into letting myself go out, and spoiling all my happiness and improvement and work, and getting to care for somebody else?”
“But you have consented.”
“Well, when I was frightened for him I found I did care, and he got hold of me, and made me allow that I did; and now I suppose nobody will give me any peace.”
“Stay, Gillian—keep yourself from this impatient mood. I think I understand your unwillingness to overthrow old associations and admit a new overmastering feeling.”
“That’s just it, papa,” said Gillian, looking up. “I can’t bear that overmastering feeling, nor the being told every one must come to it. It seems such folly.”