“Can you see no other point of view than those?” she asked.
“There are no others,” he answered. “Come! come! my darling, don't add this new difficulty to what we've got to carry! I know you have a hard time of it at home. Some day, please God, you shall have an easier one! And I'm having a hard time too—I don't deny it. But you are the greatest joy and comfort I have, dear—you know that. If you go away—it will be harder and slower and longer—that's all. I shall have you to worry about too. Let somebody else do the gold-mine, dear—you stay here and comfort your Mother as long as you can—and me. How can I get along without you?”
He tried to put his arm around her again, but she drew back. “Dear,” she said. “If I deliberately do what I think is right—against your wishes—what will you do?”
“Do?” The laughed bitterly. “What can I do? I'm tied by the leg here—I can't go after you. I've nothing to pull you out of a scrape with if you get in one. I couldn't do anything but—stand it.”
“And if I go ahead, and do what you don't like—and make you—suffer—would you—would you rather be free?” Her voice was very low and shaken, but he heard her well enough.
“Free of you? Free of you?” He caught her and held her and kissed her over and over.
“You are mine!” he said. “You have given yourself to me! You cannot leave me. Neither of us is free—ever again.” But she struggled away from him.
“Both of us are free—to do what we think right, always Ross! I wouldn't try to stop you if you thought it was your duty to go to the North Pole!” She held him a little way off. “Let me tell you, dear. Sit down—let me tell you all about it.” But he wouldn't sit down.
“I don't think I want to know the details,” he said. “It doesn't much matter what you're going to do—if you really go away. I can't stop you—I see that. If you think this thing is your 'duty' you'll do it if it kills us all—and you too! If you have to go—I shall do nothing—can do nothing—but wait till you come back to me! Whatever happens, darling—no matter how you fail—don't ever be afraid to come back to me.”
He folded his arms now—did not attempt to hold her—gave her the freedom she asked and promised her the love she had almost feared to lose—and her whole carefully constructed plan seemed like a child's sand castle for a moment; her heroic decision the wildest folly.