The inner pocket of my coat is used for railroad timetables, most of which have since been changed. Also a selected assortment of unanswered letters and slips of paper saying, "Call Mr. So-and-so before noon." The first thing to be done by my heirs after collecting the remains must be to communicate with the writers of those letters, to assure them that I was struck down in the fullness of my powers while on the way to the post office to mail an answer.
My right-hand coat pocket is for pipes.
Left-hand coat pocket for tobacco and matches.
The little tin cup strapped in my left armpit is for Swedish matches that failed to ignite. It is an invention of my own.
I once intended to allocate a pocket especially for greenbacks, but found it unnecessary.