“You done so.”
“Wa-al,” says Naboth, like he’s proved some mighty important point.
“What’s that got to do with fastenin’ the crime onto me?” says Rameses III.
“Why,” says Naboth, “stummick trouble is caused by things you eat.”
“To be sure.”
Naboth kind of backed off a step before he shot his next broadside, like he wanted to be ready for any emergency that might come. “Wa-al,” he said, “the’s jest one kind of food that causes this here appendy-sidus. Jest one kind. And you been givin’ him that three times a day.”
“I have, have I. Not if I know it. Not me. I hain’t never fed nobody food like that.... Say, what you talkin’ about. What kind of food you mean?”
“The kind of grub you feed everybody aboard this boat—jest plain bad cookin’,” says Naboth.
Well, sir! Rameses III let out a roar like a black bull with a bee sting in his tail and made for Naboth. He hadn’t seen where the argument was leading him at all, and when it dawned on him that Naboth was casting aspersions on his ability as a cook, things began to happen. Naboth ducked and ran, and Rameses III was right on his heels, hollerin’ for vengeance. Up and down and around and around they went, and nobody in the world can say how it would have ended up. Mr. Browning wasn’t there to stop it, and Catty and I liked the circus too well to try. We just stood by and watched, and hoped for the best. They’d trampled all over the ship about a dozen times, and were just making the thirteenth trip, when, as they passed the hatchway to the engine room, old Tom, the engineer, stuck his whiskers out and took a look. Naboth was right there. Tom reached up and gave Naboth a shove, and Naboth braided his legs and took a header—not onto the deck, but right over the rail into the harbor. Well, mister!
And then, what d’you suppose happened. Why, Rameses he turned on a frightened yell. “He can’t swim,” says he, “He’ll drownd.” And without waiting to take off his hat, he dived in. The next we saw he came up with Naboth in his mouth, like he was a Newfoundland dog, and swam with him to the jacob’s ladder, and we helped haul them in.