“Not comparin’,” says Bobbin. “And what goes for Mrs. Strubber goes for all the rest of them Lit’ry Circle wimmin.”
“Eh? What’s that?” bellowed another man from the crowd. “I want you should know my wife b’longs to that Lit’ry Circle, and the finest wimmin in town does. Wimmin b’longs to that that would be ashamed to be one of them Home Culturers. Why, nobody b’longs to the Home Culturers but folks the Lit’ry Circle wimmin wouldn’t have nothin’ to do with.”
“Is that so?” another fellow shouted, and began working close to the row. “My wife’s a Home Culturer, and if you think I’ll stand by to let a spindle-shanked, knock-kneed, bald-headed, squint-eyed wampus like you say sich things, why, you’re mighty badly mistook. Listen here. ’Tain’t doin’ no good to stand here fightin’ about our wives. There’s a contest on to see which ones is the best. I don’t need no contest to tell me. But us men better shut up and let the contest go ahead. Then you Lit’ry Circle fellers will have to hunt your holes. Why, doggone you, them Home Culturers will git two subscriptions to your one. Hear me. And when it comes to cookin’ and gittin’ up a meal of vittles—well, jest wait, that’s all I got to say.”
He turned around and began to push out of the crowd, and so did the other men. I guess they judged they was gettin’ perty close to a fight, and that jest talking wouldn’t answer the purpose much longer. I notice that men is willing to stand and rave and tear and talk jest so long as it hain’t likely to go any farther. But the minute things begins to look like business, and spectators is all keyed up to see a fight, why, the talking stops and the folks that started it all begins to disappear fast. Mostly a man that talks won’t fight, and a man that fights keeps his mouth tight shut.
Mark and I went along toward the office.
“L-l-looks to me,” says he, grinning like all git out, “as if f-folks was beginnin’ to git a bit het up over the contest.”
“Yes,” says I. “I hope both sides don’t turn to and get het up at us. If they do,” says I, “the South Pole is about the only place we’ll be safe, and maybe not there.”
“I don’t care,” says he, “as long as it gits us s-s-subscriptions.”
Which was just exactly like him. Results was what counted.