“Sorry I stopped him,” says I, “but I just had to do it.”
The man sighed. “Well, young feller, ’tain’t as if I wasn’t used to it. It’s startin’ that hurts my feelin’s. Why, when this here automobeel of mine decides to start it s’prises me so I come nigh to fallin’ off my seat!”
“No!” says I, like I was astonished.
“Yes,” says he. “Honest. D’yuh know, I bought this here outfit to travel in. To git from one place to another place. I kind of had it in mind to make a bid for the job of carryin’ mail on the rooral free delivery. That’s what I done. So I bought me this here automobeel. Then d’yuh know what I done?”
“No,” says I.
“I built me a garage,” says he, pronouncing garage as though you spelled it garagh. “Yes, sir. I up and built me one of them garages. Fine one it was, too. Roof on to it and four sides and a door. Got it done. Looked fust class. Then what did I do but run this here automobeel up alongside and show the garage to him.” He stopped and rubbed his nose with his sleeve.
“What did he do?” says I.
“Do? Why, young feller, he done what he’s doin’ now! He reached out with his four hoofs and took a holt of the ground and hung on. Ever try to pull a cat offn your coat when she’s a notion she wants to stay with you and sticks her claws into the cloth? To be sure. This here automobeel of mine’s jest like that. He hung on to the ground, and would he go in? No, he would not. Not any. That was two weeks ago, and he hain’t been in yet. I’m a-goin’ to take the advice of a hoss-doctor, that’s what I be. The critter’s out of his head.”
“What did you do with him nights?”
“Jest left him. He liked it. Give this here automobeel of mine his choice between standin’ with his legs braced, and eatin’ a peck of oats, and he’ll pick the standin’ every time. Ornery! Jim Sloan says why didn’t I p’int his hind quarters toward the garage and pull the other way. Figgered the contrairiness of the critter’d cause him to back off and go plumb where I wanted him to. Did it work? Naw. Couldn’t fool him. Not a mite. All the movin’ he done was sideways. Got a scheme now, though.”