When may a chair be said to dislike you? When it can't bear you.
What animal took most luggage into the Ark, and which two took the least? The elephant, who took his trunk, while the fox and the cock had only a brush and a comb between them.
If a bear were to go into a dry goods store, what would he want? He would want muzzlin'.
Why was the first day of Adam's life the longest? Because it had no Eve.
Why is a washerwoman like a navigator? Because she spreads her sheets, crosses the line and goes from pole to pole.
Why is it that a tailor won't attend to business? Because he is always cutting out.
When can a horse be sea-green in color? When it's a bay.
Why were gloves never meant to sell? Because they were made to be kept on hand.
When are we all artists? When we draw a long face.