“‘What would you say if I told you that I had settled your case for $10,000?’ he asked.
“‘I would say it is pretty high, but you have performed a real service for me and I’m glad to get out of it.’
“‘What would you say then if I told you I had settled for $8,000?’
“‘That would be better; I would indorse that settlement right from the start.’
“‘Then,’ persisted Mr. Kern, ‘what would you say if I told you I had settled for $5,000.’
“‘I’d be tickled to death.’
“‘Well,’ said Mr. Kern, ‘at the risk of a sudden termination of your earthly career I will tell you that this whole matter has been adjusted and that you are to pay only $1,000.’
“And then, to top it all off, Mr. Kern charged him a nominal fee, finding his reward mainly in the satisfaction of having got somebody out of trouble.
“Mr. Kern’s sense of humor was exquisite. Whether in the court room or on the hustings the ‘human side’ of things appealed to him with mighty force and often, especially in his younger days, when he was practicing in the courts of Kokomo his quick wit won his cases. On a certain occasion a Kokomo roisterer got into trouble and engaged Mr. Kern to defend him in a justice of the peace court. A hog knows infinitely more about Sunday than that justice knew about law. Mr. Kern saw that the only salvation for his client was to force through an immediate trial. It was after dark when his client was haled into court. The squire adjusted his spectacles in a knowing way and said:
“‘This case will be continued until to-morrow and the defendant will be remanded to the county jail.’