“Almighty God, Father of all goodness—most humble and hearty thanks——O God, I am so utterly happy. If You only knew how grateful—how grateful—my creation and preservation and all the blessings of my life—because, of course, I see now, they were all blessings—Gran’papa and being poor and everything, or I shouldn’t have known Justin. O God, I do thank You so—for making Justin and for letting me know him and for letting him care—and for all Thy goodness and loving kindness to me and all men. I will be so good to him, God—I promise—I promise—I will always be good now. O God, teach me to be good enough and to understand him, so that he doesn’t get tired: and I pray Thee give me that due sense of all Thy mercies——Yes, I have, I have that due sense and I will show forth Thy praise, always, always—only please God, teach me to be good enough that he may never be disappointed and that I may make him happy, for Jesus Christ’s sake. Amen.”
She ceased, exhausted by her own passion; but the lark’s song continued, welling up untroubled like a spring of pure water, from the infinite calm of the sky.
CHAPTER XX
If, a year or two later, you could have persuaded Mrs. Cloud to tell you her thoughts, she would have said that she always considered the engagement ring to be at the bottom of the whole wretched business. If Laura had begun by being firm ... but Laura, she could not help feeling, had been lamentably wanting in backbone where Justin was concerned.... For Justin had his faults.... She was his mother, but she was not like some mothers.... She was perfectly willing to admit that Justin had his faults.... Oh, well—you could scarcely call them faults, perhaps that would be too strong, but—well, he was inclined to be dreamy sometimes: he had certainly been dreamy over the engagement ring.... But still, she could not help feeling that that was Laura’s fault.... Laura should have been firm....
Oh, of course, if Laura liked Justin to ride rough-shod over her, well and good! But then she should not have turned upon him afterwards! And that was just it—if they had been openly engaged it was quite reasonable that they should have had their differences: their slack months, so to speak, would not have mattered in the least.... The engagement ring would have fixed their status. But as it was....
If Laura had had proper pride, if she had even shown that she was disappointed—for, of course, she must have been disappointed——Oh! (Mrs. Cloud’s smile would deprecate her worldliness) if she had done no more than talk for a day or two of how fond she was of rubies or of pearls or whatever it was—why, then Justin would have got the idea well into his head, and the ring would have been bought! Nobody could say that Justin was not generous.... He must have spent pounds on the books he brought back that very day for Laura.... But still—they weren’t an engagement ring and nothing would make them one....
Thus far—but you would never have got it out of her—a reminiscent Mrs. Cloud.
But besides Mrs. Cloud there had been Brackenhurst to consider. Brackenhurst also had wanted an engagement ring. Without that certificate Mr. Cloud and Miss Laura Valentine might ‘understand’ each other—Brackenhurst had arranged long ago for them to do that—but it could not call them engaged. Indeed, it had at last, in desperation, circulated the rumour that old Mr. Valentine had Put his Foot Down. Old Mr. Valentine, who still called his grey-haired daughter and the niece who sometimes came to stay ‘the girls,’ who locked the front door, winter and summer, at ten o’clock, and thereafter sat up for strayed revellers in his skull-cap and dressing-gown, with a candle in one hand and his great gold watch open in the other, and an expression upon his face that few cared to encounter twice—old Mr. Valentine, it was said, had permitted no public engagement until Laura was one-and-twenty.
It was a useful rumour, one that satisfied Brackenhurst and did not displease Mrs. Cloud. Because, you see, it would have been difficult to explain to the incredulous that there was no engagement ring on Laura’s finger because—because—well, to tell you the truth (Aunt Adela would have done it more unctuously than Mrs. Cloud), the fact was that dear Justin kept on forgetting to buy one! And Laura—a good girl, but, between you and Aunt Adela, with curious ideas sometimes—apparently didn’t mind! Yes. Unconventional. Very. And so was Mr. Cloud. Oh, of course, if they were satisfied——But personally—Aunt Adela would not say so to every one—but personally, she must say—yes, exactly!