If they are to achieve anything beyond animalistic excitement, the aim of both the man and girl should be not to receive satisfaction but to give satisfaction. It is this considerateness that makes the act sublime and enriching. It welds them into a strong union.
As the honeymoon progresses, something usually happens toward the end that jolts the couple back to reality. For the first time, perhaps unconsciously, the groom starts acting like a husband or the bride like a wife. Usually it is the groom. Perhaps he forgets to kiss his bride when he leaves her for a few hours. Perhaps she catches him thinking of something else while she is confiding her love. Or perhaps he just refuses to get up and look at the gorgeous sunrise that is thrilling her.
This little “baptism” comes sooner or later and brides should prepare themselves for it. It signifies that the honeymoon is just about over and that they are returning to the day-to-day job of living together as two human beings. The bride may feel let down or heartsick. She may even cry a little or flare up and upbraid him. Or worse she may retreat into her shell. If she fails to handle the incident calmly and retain her sense of proportion she may develop an attitude that will get them off to a bad start.
As they get down to the day-to-day job of adjusting themselves to married life the wife will find that the major burden of the adjusting falls on her. That is because the woman normally must rearrange her life, upon marriage, more than the man, despite the fact that they are partners. For example:
He stays in the same community whereas she often must leave hers, and her friends, to live with him.
He keeps his name whereas she drops hers to take his, with a “Mrs.” in front of it.
He keeps his job whereas she usually quits hers to learn an entirely new occupation—homemaking.
He continues to make his own money whereas she becomes dependent upon him even for spending money.
He lives the role of husband an hour in the morning and a few hours in the evening whereas she spends fifteen hours a day functioning as a wife.
He continues spending the greatest part of his energy trying to please his boss, whereas she starts devoting her energy to winning her husband’s approval—approval for the way she cooks, dresses, runs the home, takes care of the children, if they have them. Normally the wife spends at least eighty per cent of the husband’s income on such things as these and naturally is anxious to convince him she is using his money wisely.