Trait VI. Is He Broadminded or Idealistic? The broadminded person is tolerant, flexible, practical, realistic. His temperament tends to be pleasant and smooth. The idealistic person shows strong attitudes. Prejudice, often disguised as “high” standards, may be present. Inferiority and peevishness are often found here.
Stop and think. The girl you want to marry is the one you hope will be the mother of your children. You want her to instill reasonably high standards and ideals in the children. You want her to be conventional and not do things that will bring criticism. The happiest marriages are those in which the wife has high standards and ideals but not ones that are so stiff and unyielding that she can never see any justification for a slip-up now and then. Unhappy marriages are those where the wives have standards that are very low and who behave in unconventional or questionable ways. Our society encourages higher standards and ideals for women than it does for men. The man can be tolerant and easygoing but should have standards sufficiently high so that he considers it important to be faithful to his wife, and does not waste his money in drink or gambling.
Trait VII. Is He Calm or Emotional? Calm persons have “normal” ways of thinking. Their feelings are not intense. Persons whose work requires objectivity and courage—such as surgeons and military leaders—score high at this level. Emotional people, in contrast, usually think in unorthodox ways. They are usually sensitive. Their feelings are volatile and deep-seated. Interests in writing, drama, arts, literature are often found here. Individualistic, creative work is preferred, and the person may appear temperamental or eccentric to others. Repression and sexual conflicts are common.
Since the emotional person is intense and usually not too well adjusted, marriage may not prove too satisfactory. The trait of coolness or steadiness is much more crucial for men than for women. The happiest married men seem to be those who are steady and free of excess emotion. This enables them to be objective in their work. A girl should be wary of selecting a mate who is very emotional, who is too much interested in sex or who works in the movies or other work where there is a great deal of glamour and excitement.
Trait VIII. Is He Rigid or Flexible? This is more important in men than in women, and the man’s age determines whether he should score high in rigidity or in flexibility. If the man is under twenty-five it is well for the couple’s future happiness if he scores quite high in flexibility because marriage requires a great deal of adjusting and a certain amount of trying out new jobs is healthy for a young man. However, flexibility in a man past thirty should make a girl seriously question the advisability of marriage to him because he is apt to be permanently a “will-o’-the-wisp”; his characteristics are pretty well set. A man in his thirties who changes jobs frequently, who is not “settled,” is not a good matrimonial bet.
Trait IX. Is He Thoughtful or Frivolous? Beware of the girl who is frivolous. She will be shallow and discontented; she will have many unsettled problems; she will be worrying about her past as well as her future; she will have trouble making up her mind and will seem to be at loose ends. She may nag and complain. For women, thoughtfulness ranks second only to dependability in importance to marriage happiness.
There you have the nine traits. As you have probably noticed, it is much more crucial for women to have the right personality traits than for men. This is due largely to the fact that marriage looms much larger in a woman’s life than it does in a man’s. A wife has to do the larger part of the “adjusting” to marriage. She usually has to give up her name, her job, her residence, and many of her friends. The man can go on pretty much the same as he did before marriage. The wife must spend the greatest part of her day being a wife (homemaker) whereas the man serves actively in the role of husband only a few hours a day.