How to Pick a Mate: The Guide to a Happy Marriage

by Clifford R. Adams; Vance Packard

Every person is a little jealous of his or her mate. But there is a point where the jealousy becomes excessive—and dangerous. Whether real or imaginary, the jealousy puts you in such a dark mood that anything you do may harm rather than improve the relationship.

1.	Do you feel this potential mate of yours neglects you?	Yes	No
2.	Do you want and need considerable attention and praise?	Yes	No
3.	Does he turn and look at other girls (or does she seem to relish the attention of other men)?	Yes	No
4.	Do you ever try to “get even?”	Yes	No
5.	Is your temper easily aroused?	Yes	No
6.	Does it upset you to have somebody disagree with you in public?	Yes	No
7.	Do you keep close tabs on him (or her) when both of you are at a party?	Yes	No
8.	Do you feel envious of certain other persons of your own sex that you know?	Yes	No
9.	Do you ever quarrel with this person after returning from a party?	Yes	No
10.	Has he, or she, learned not to praise other people of your own sex in front of you?	Yes	No
11.	Do you like to listen to gossip?	Yes	No
12.	Do you sometime feel alone when in a crowd?	Yes	No
13.	Do you want this person to wait on you a good deal?	Yes	No
14.	Do you think most people of the opposite sex will bear watching?	Yes	No
15.	When this mate is late do you want an explanation?	Yes	No
16.	Do you ever have it out with a person who says untrue things about you?	Yes	No
17.	Would you be considered a “possessive” person?	Yes	No
18.	Have you ever suspected that some friend’s mate was misbehaving and have contrived to let the friend know about it?	Yes	No

If you answered fourteen or more of these with yes you are a victim of extreme and unhealthy jealousy. If however you answered less than four with yes you apparently don’t even love the person.

Chapter XV
People Who Should Not Marry at All

Every time the Marriage Counseling Service at Penn State has offered its course on the preparation for marriage, the class has been asked to list the qualifications they think a person has to have before he should undertake marriage.

It was interesting to note that the girls in the class consistently voted for higher qualifications than the men. We have averaged the responses of the many hundreds of students and present below those qualifications mentioned by at least fifty per cent of the students:

Qualifications for Marriage	Percentage Voting for Them
Freedom from venereal disease	100%
Freedom from feeble-mindedness (If sterilized, 24% would permit marriage)	99%
Freedom from insanity	97%
Freedom from criminality	94%
Freedom from dipsomania	91%
Freedom from drug addiction	85%
Freedom from neuroticism	76%
Proof by groom that he can support bride (This includes evidence of occupational proficiency and at least $150 in savings)	69%
Record of no more than one divorce, if any	50%

Other qualifications suggested but receiving less than forty-five per cent of the votes were freedom from tuberculosis, cancer, epilepsy and fatal heart disease, freedom from sterility and from inherited physical defects. About ninety-seven per cent of the students thought that both men and women should have premarital physical exams that would determine freedom from venereal disease.

We feel that there is a great deal of merit to the qualifications raised by the students. With those as a starting point we have prepared nine questions which you should ask yourself—and be able to answer yes. They are minimum qualifications for marriage. We feel you should have serious doubts about the advisability of marrying another person if you answer no to even one of the questions. Here they are: