If you are a girl considering the possibility of marrying a veteran, here are thoughts you might keep in mind.
—You must assume he is a normal person and treat him like one. Even if he doesn’t seem to be he should make the adjustment to civilian life within a few months.
—Don’t confess any “misdeeds” of your own—they will only upset him and add nothing either to the present adjustment or future happiness.
—Talk out your problem, your futures, carefully and in detail. This will help both of you be sure of the responsibilities you face in marriage and will cause both of you to plan systematically and not haphazardly about the future.
—If you agree to marry, go ahead and be married in church with a conventional ceremony with all the trimmings. Unless he is terribly opposed, don’t be contented with less than a church or home wedding with the friends and families of both present. Studies have shown that marriages that took place within the sanctity of the church tend to be happier than those that do not.
—In dealing with him during the first few weeks don’t tell him what to do or where to go. Make him feel relaxed, encourage him to wait on you, make him feel useful.
If you are a returning veteran you should accept the fact that you are going to find your girls different from when you left. And it won’t be all aging. They have been working in greater numbers than ever before and on the surface are more independent. In spite of this, remember that girls want to be treated gently and considerately. They still love soft lights and sweet music, they want to hear your compliments, they want that tender good-night kiss if they like you, and that romantic conversational interplay.
You must not forget that you have been away a long time. You may find your feminine psychology rusty. Girls are still soft and sentimental, still wanting to be made love to, still wanting to marry and make homes and have your children. Don’t let the inhumanity of war make you cynical. Such an attitude would keep you from finding the mate with whom you can be happy.
Will you pick your mate or will she pick you? Because of the surplus of women over men now you can do the picking. You don’t have as much ground for wondering whether you will marry as the girls do. But will you pick your own mate? Probably not. It has been said: “A man rushes after a woman until she catches him.”
Actually, picking a mate nowadays is a mutual process; both of you pick each other. It is a complicated process and probably neither of you knows quite what is going on. Part of the time one of you may be more aware of what is going on than the other; part of the time neither of you is sure.