Fern Vale; or, the Queensland Squatter. Volume 2

by Colin Munro

In the sitting-room pertaining to the dwelling of this worthy individual, who, we may mention, had never thought it advisable "to settle in life," sat three specimens of the genus homo—the proprietor of the station, a neighbouring squatter of the name of Brown, and our old acquaintance, Bob Smithers. At the moment of our intrusion upon this triumvirate, they were assiduously attentive to a dark-coloured opaque receptacle, containing a brown stimulating fluid, and which was circulated (to use an antithesis) in a triangle from one to the other of this trio, and followed by its usual concomitant, an earthenware vessel of a porous nature (containing a more translucent liquid), and vulgarly denominated "a monkey." In fact these gentlemen were what steady, sober, and sedate people would call drinking; but what they, choice sons of Bacchus, simply designated "taking a nobbler." They were also emulating the example of the first potent initiator, and "blowing a cloud," from three diminutive and jetty instruments, that were retained in their dental position, irrespective of any inconvenience to expectoration or without any hindrance to the conversation, which was carried on in an animated manner; the only proceeding that called for a removal from their ivory fetters being that which was necessary to alleviate thirst.

At the moment which we have chosen to introduce this company to our readers a head was thrust into the room, and a voice called the master of the establishment, who instantly left the apartment, after telling his visitors not to mind his absence. This was an injunction which was perfectly needless, for, in the presence of the before mentioned stimulator, the parties addressed seemed in nowise disconsolate at his leaving them.

The Doctor's absence was only of short duration, for in a few minutes he returned with a bottle in his hand, which he set down upon the table with the following aphorism: "May we never want a friend, and a bottle to give him;" while he continued addressing Smithers: "Here, Bob, old fellow, here is a spiritual visitant in the shape of as good brandy as ever you drank. I have plenty more, so don't be frightened of the liquor. I am obliged to keep it in my bed-room, or I would not have a drop in the house in twelve hours; those confounded rascals of mine would rob a church if they could get any drink out of it;" and then turning to his other friend he said: "How are you getting on, Brown? take another 'nip,' and don't shirk your grog;" at which little pleasantry of his own he burst into a laugh.

Brown did as he was desired with very little show of reluctance, and asked of his host what had occurred to make him so merry.

"Why," said the Doctor, "I have had a little adventure with one of my fellows, who wanted to be master; but I soon taught him submission. My overseer came to tell me that one of the scoundrels had refused to work, so I quietly went out to him and knocked him down. I hate to have words with the fellows; that's meeting them on their own ground. I like to deal with them pointedly; so when the blackguard got upon his legs again I told him the next remedy I would try would be a stock-whip, and if that failed I would summon him before the bench. That sent him to work, for my fellows know it is a bad game to come before the magistrates with me; so telling him to 'keep his eye on the picture' I left him, and I'll vow he won't trouble me again in a hurry."

"But," said Brown, "how have you managed to establish such a wholesome dread of the bench in the minds of your men? For my part, if ever I have any of my fellows up, I not only rarely obtain any satisfaction, but am put to a great deal of trouble and inconvenience."

"Oh, I suppose you don't know how to manage it," replied the Doctor. "I never let any of my fellows have a case against me. If they have at any time the impertinence to serve me with a summons, or lodge a complaint, I always prevent them getting any of their own witnesses, by finding them something to do to keep them out of the way of a subpœna; whereas that overseer of mine is an uncommonly useful fellow, he always sees things in the same light that I do."

"But still I can't see," said Brown, "if the fellows are determined to be troublesome, how you are to punish them unless they commit a breach of their agreement; and they are generally wide awake enough to keep all right there."

"Nothing easier in the world," replied the Doctor. "I'll just tell you how I served one fellow that gave me a great deal of trouble. He was a 'new chum,' just out from home. My agent in Brisbane hired him from the ship when he arrived, and he was an infernally saucy fellow, as all those new chums are; for they not only demand higher wages, but are always more difficult to satisfy, readier with their objections, and lazier and less handy with their work, than men with 'colonial experience.' Now, this fellow gave me some cheek one day, and I thrashed him; but what do you think of his impertinence? he actually summoned me for assault. Well, Bill, my overseer, very conveniently saw him raise his hand to strike me, so I was forced, you perceive, to knock him down in self-defence, and the case was dismissed. But I was determined to break my fine fellow's pride, and let him see that he had got into the wrong box when he fancied he could ride rough-shod over me; and I wasn't long in giving him the lesson. I had him engaged as a shepherd, in the usual way, 'and to make himself generally useful;' so one fine Sunday morning, when he had dressed himself in his 'Sunday go-to-meeting clothes,' I found a nice little job for him that I knew he wouldn't relish. I had a couple of horses in a paddock at the other side of the creek; which had been flooded just previously, so that the paddock was nearly half covered with mud and water; and to get over to it there was no other way than to ford the creek, which I give you my word was none of the cleanest to cross. I ordered the fellow to fetch me one of the horses, knowing perfectly well that, as there was not another on the station, he would have to accomplish it on foot. I was sure this would try his metal, and guessed he wouldn't half like the idea of soiling his clean clothes; and I was right. He didn't like it; and positively refused to go, saying that he was not obliged to work on a Sunday beyond what was absolutely necessary, such as tending his flock, for which he was engaged. I, however, put a boy to mind his sheep, and then ordered him again to bring in the horse for me; but he still refused. So I just had him up, under 'the Masters and Servants Act,' for refusing to obey my lawful orders, and he was fined forty shillings and ordered to go back to his work. But he declined to do that, and was then committed to gaol for a month, at the expiration of which he was sent back to his work, whether he liked it or not. Well, sir, he was always civil after that; but I determined that he should remember the lesson. So when his term expired, and I settled with him for his wages, I charged him with twenty sheep that had been missing out of his flock while he had refused to work. He was fool enough to decline receiving the balance of his wages, and actually sued me; but I produced my stock-book before the bench, when the loss was shown, and my overseer swore to the deficiency, so my gentleman had to submit; and, being rather abusive upon his defeat, I quieted him by threatening another thrashing, and told him to 'keep his eye on the picture,' unless he wished to be still farther treated to a drilling."

"Well," said Brown, "but suppose a fellow like that should persist in giving you trouble, his services would not at any wages be worth having, considering the nuisance of continually dragging him before the bench; and he might get a lot of your men as witnesses against you; and even if he did no good for himself, he would do you considerable injury, by drawing the men away from their work."