We found a grand volcano
Close to the servants' room,
It really was the cistern,
But it made a fearful boom.
In all our expeditions
My brother is the crew,
I'm midshipman and captain—
Of course it's rather few,
But then my kiddie sister
Has got to be the beasts
Which we go out a-hunting
In order to have feasts.
Our feasts are bread and butter,
And sometimes bread and jam—
That is, if when we're shooting
No doors are made to slam.
The wettest days in London
Are quite a jolly spree;
And sometimes, though not often,
Our friends come in to tea.
IF, Percy, you have money in your pocket,
For Algernon I hope you'll buy this book,
But when you've bought it, do let Algy read it,
And let your kiddy sister have a look.
This good advice applies to you, young Godfrey,
To Wilfred and to Michael and to Claude,
To James, Guy, Basil, Archibald and Eustace,
And also to Diana, Joan and Maud.
Philip, to you the last must be spoken;
Tell people of this book round Kensington;
Mention with kind encouragement the Author,
And get the money from your Uncle John.