Providence had however fixed a limit to our prosperity. The catastrophe of Moscow, the disasters of Leipsic, and the siege of Paris, are well known. I commanded in that city one of the legions which acquired honour by its severe losses on the 31st of March. When the capitulation took place I gave up the command, feeling that other duties were to be performed near the person of my sovereign, but could not reach Fontainebleau in time:—the Emperor had abdicated, and was succeeded by the King.
My situation now became more singular than it had been twelve years before. The cause for which I had sacrificed my fortune, for which I remained so long in exile, and six years in a state of self-denial at home, was at length triumphant; nevertheless, the point of honour and other considerations were about to prevent my reaping any benefit from the event! What could be more capricious than my fate? Two revolutions had been effected in opposition to each other:—by the first I lost my patrimony; by the second I might have been deprived of life: neither the one nor the other had been favourable to my fortune. Vulgar minds will only perceive an unfortunate tergiversation of opinions in this wayward destiny, while the lovers of intrigue will assert that I was twice a dupe: only the few will understand that I have twice honourably fulfilled my duty. Be this as it may, those early friends, whose esteem was not lessened by the line of conduct I had pursued, having now become all powerful, invited me to join them: it was impossible to obey the generous call; disgusted and disheartened, I resolved that my public life should terminate. Ought I to have exposed myself to the false judgment of those who were watching my proceedings? Could every body see what was passing in my mind?
Having now become a Frenchman even to enthusiasm, and unable to endure that national degradation of which I was a daily witness amidst foreign bayonets, I determined to endeavour to divert my thoughts at a distance from the scene of calamity, and went to pass a few months in England. How altered did every thing appear there! On reflection, I found that it was myself who had undergone a great change.
I had scarcely returned, when Napoleon appeared on our coasts: he was transported to the capital as it were by magic, and this without battles, excesses, or effusion of blood. I thought I saw the stain brought on us by foreign hands effaced, and all our glory restored. Destiny had ordered otherwise!
No sooner did I hear of the Emperor’s arrival, than I spontaneously repaired to attend on his person. I was present at the moment of abdication; and, when the question of his removal was agitated, I requested permission to participate in his fate. Such had been till then the disinterestedness and simplicity, some will say folly, of my conduct, that, notwithstanding my daily intercourse as an officer of the household and member of his council, Napoleon scarcely knew me. “Do you know whither your offer may lead you?” said he, in his astonishment. “I have made no calculation about it,” I replied.[it,” I replied.] He accepted me, and I am at St. Helena.
I have now made myself known; the reader has my credentials in his hands: a host of contemporaries are living—it will be seen whether a single individual amongst them stands up to invalidate them: I therefore begin my task.
RETURN OF THE EMPEROR TO THE ELYSÉE, AFTER
THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO.
Tuesday, June 20th, 1815.—Heard of the Emperor’s return to the Elysée Palace: placed myself in immediate attendance there. Found Messrs. Montalambert and Montholon there, brought by the same sentiment.
Napoleon had just lost a great battle; so that the safety of the nation thenceforth depended on the wisdom and zeal of the Chamber of Representatives. The Emperor, still covered with dust from the field of Waterloo, was on the point of hurrying into the midst of them, there to declare our dangers and resources, and to engage that his personal interests should never be a barrier to the happiness of France; after which he intended to quit Paris immediately. It is said that several persons dissuaded him from this step, by leading him to apprehend an approaching ferment amongst the deputies.
It is as yet impossible to comprehend every report that circulates with regard to this fatal battle: some say there is manifest treason; others, a fatality without example. Thirty thousand men under Grouchy lost their way and were too late, taking no part in the engagement; the army, victorious till the evening, was, it is said, suddenly seized with a panic towards eight o’clock, and became broken in an instant. It is another Crecy, another Azincourt,———![[1]] every one trembles and thinks all is lost!