“But,” observed the Emperor afterwards, “those amongst you emigrants who had created for yourselves resources abroad must have felt quite lost when you returned to France, and ruined once more?”—“Certainly, Sire; for we found nothing of what we had formerly left in France, and we had just abandoned the little we had made ourselves. But we had not calculated: our impatience to revisit our native land had over-balanced every other consideration, and several amongst us soon found themselves in the greatest distress, in want of every thing, although acquainted and even intimate with many of the great personages of the day—with your Ministers, Sire, your Councillors of State, and others. This circumstance gave rise to a bon mot from one of our wits. Meeting one day, in the saloon of the Minister for Maritime Affairs, a friend who like himself hardly knew how to manage to subsist, he exclaimed, by way of consolation: “Well, my friend, if we die of hunger, we may still have two or three Ministers at our funeral.” The Emperor laughed heartily at the jest, and admitted that it gave an exact description of the situation of affairs at the time.
After his lesson of English, and the conversation which followed, the Emperor went out for a walk. We walked to the end of the wood, where the calash drove up to us.
On the Emperor’s return, the Doctor came to inform him that Colonel Reade, whom he had consented to receive instead of the Governor, wished to be presented to him. Colonel Reade delivered to the Emperor a note of considerable length; and I was sent for to translate it. It contained the communications which Sir Hudson Lowe had for three or four days past been vainly endeavouring to make in person. The note was couched in the most offensive terms, and the Governor wished to have reserved to himself the satisfaction of communicating its contents to the Emperor. This is a characteristic trait, and it requires no comment. The harsh terms in which it was expressed, and in particular the repeated threat that we should be separated from the Emperor, vexed us exceedingly, and put us out of spirits for the remainder of the day.
THE EMPEROR READS MY JOURNAL, AND DICTATES TO ME.—CONFERENCE BETWEEN THE GRAND MARSHAL AND THE GOVERNOR.
5th.—At an early hour this morning, before I had risen, I heard some one softly open my chamber-door. My apartment is so encumbered with my own bed and that of my son, that it is no easy matter to enter it. I perceived a hand drawing aside my bed-curtain: it was the Emperor’s. I was reading a book of geometry, a circumstance which amused him very much, and, as he said, saved my reputation. I instantly rose, and soon rejoined the Emperor, who was proceeding to the wood alone. He conversed for a considerable time on the events of the preceding day. He then returned to the house for the purpose of taking a bath: he was very ill, and had passed a bad night.
He sent for me at one o’clock. He was in the drawing-room, and he expressed a wish to take his English lesson. The weather was very hot and close. The Emperor felt languid and dispirited: he could not bend his mind to study, and several times fell asleep. At length he rose, saying he was determined to shake off his lethargy, and he proceeded to the billiard-room to breathe a little fresh air.
Conversing on the subject of the Campaigns of Italy, he enquired what I had done with the first rough draughts, observing that all the chapters had been several times re-copied. I told him that I had carefully preserved them. He desired to have all the manuscripts brought to him, and, laying aside two complete copies, he sent the rest into the kitchen to be burnt.
I have already several times mentioned that the Emperor knew I kept a Journal. This was a secret, and therefore he never spoke to me on the subject, except when we happened to be alone together. He often asked me whether I still continued my Journal, and what I could find to set down in it. “Sire,” I replied, “all that your Majesty does and says, from morning to night.” “Then,” said he, “you must have a monstrous deal of repetition, and must tell many useless things! But no matter, go on, some day we will look it over together.”
When he visited my chamber, he frequently found the faithful Aly engaged in re-copying my Journal; for he had kindly offered to employ himself in this way, during his leisure hours. The Emperor sometimes cast his eyes upon Aly’s writing, and, after reading a few lines, that is to say, as soon as he ascertained what it was, he would turn away and speak about something else, without ever alluding to the subject. This is precisely what had occurred this morning; and the Emperor, recollecting the circumstance, said that he wished at length to have a sight of this famous jumble of trifles. My son brought a portion of the manuscript, and the Emperor spent upwards of two hours in perusing it. The introduction, which relates to myself personally, fixed his attention; he read it over twice, and then said: “Well, very well; this is a fine inheritance for little Emanuel.” As to the Journal, he approved of its form and general plan. He made several corrections with his own hand, on those parts which related to his family and his childhood. He desired my son to take the pen, and he dictated to him some details respecting Brienne, Father Patrault, &c. When he had done, he desired me to continue my labours, as he was pleased with them; and he promised to furnish me with many anecdotes, particularly concerning Alexander and the other sovereigns.
He afterwards took a drive in the calash, in which I accompanied him, and the Journal again became the topic of conversation. The Emperor said a great deal on the subject, and expressed himself very much pleased with the idea. He gave me several hints respecting it, and concluded by observing that, from the peculiar circumstances under which it was produced, it might become a work truly unique in its character, and an invaluable treasure to his son.