He paused, suddenly exhausted. His indignation had burnt itself out. "I'm tired," he apologized. "I'm afraid I let myself get out of hand. I scared you for a moment. I'm sorry. Do you mind if I sit down?"
She pushed the table back to make it easier for him to take a place beside her. "It's all right," she consoled him. "I know that you're only just out of hospital. Terry told me. You're not really recovered yet. Besides, it was my fault; I spoke lightly. I wasn't thinking what I said. But I don't feel lightly about these things. I couldn't." Then she said something which struck him oddly. "You know my man's out there."
What did she mean by her man? If she had said her men, he could have comprehended. She had lost three husbands in the war. But why did she particularize and say, "My man"? It seemed cruel to the rest. And which of the three was it that she regarded as so peculiarly hers.
He jerked his thoughts back. "There was something you told me about Lord Dawn; you said it explained him. How did it go? I think you said that he hated his wife as men hate God, because they love Him so much and yet He won't come down. Well, out there it wasn't like that. Dawn climbed up to her; yes, and perhaps beyond her. Out there he didn't need to pretend to hate her; he could afford to love her without loss of self-respect. I suppose he thought it was too late to tell her after all that had gone before."
"Either that," Maisie assented, "or else—— It would be like him. Or else because he was too much of a sportsman. As it was, if he were killed, she wouldn't need to be sorry. But if he wrote her that he loved her and had always loved her, and then got
killed—— Don't you see, that's where her remorse would start?"
Tabs nodded. "And yet she was his last thought. She ought to know it. It's monstrous that she should go on believing——" He broke off. And then, "She must be told. It's merest justice—whatever it costs."
VIII
The light had been failing while they had talked. A tap fell on the door. Coming at that moment when their nerves were jangled, it sounded ominous. Their heads turned sharply. Maisie's voice was unsteady when she asked, "What is it? What do you want?"