“Marvel not at that: for women who are always wooed refuse to please him who wooes them; and they who are not wooed, woo others.”[[410]]
42.—Messer Cesare said:
“I have never known these men who are wooed by women; but very many who, on finding that they have tried in vain and spent time foolishly, resort to this noble revenge, and say they have had an abundance of that which they have only imagined, and think it a kind of courtiership to speak evil and invent tales to the end that slanderous stories of some noble lady may spring up among the rabble. But such as these, who make vile boast (whether true or false) of conquering a gentle lady, deserve punishment or torture most severe; and if they sometimes meet it, we cannot measure the praise due to those who perform the office. For if they are telling lies, what villainy can be greater than to steal from a worthy lady that which she values more than life? And for no other reason than that which ought to win endless praise for her? Again, if they are telling the truth, what punishment could suffice for a man who is so vile as to reward with such ingratitude a woman, who,—vanquished by false flatteries, by feigned tears, by continual wooing, by laments, by arts, tricks and perjuries,—has suffered herself to be led into too great love, and then without reserve has fondly given herself a prey to such a malign spirit?
“But to answer you further touching that unheard-of continence of Alexander and Scipio which you have cited, I say I am unwilling to deny that both performed an act worthy of much praise; yet to the end that you may not be able to say that in rehearsing ancient matters I tell you fables, I wish to cite a woman of low degree in our own times, who showed far more continence than these two great men.
43.—“I say, then, that I once knew a beautiful and gentle girl, whose name I do not tell you lest you give food for slander to many fools, who conceive a bad opinion of a woman as soon as they hear of her being in love. Well, this girl having been long loved by a noble and well-conditioned youth, began to love him with all her mind and heart; and of this not only I (to whom she voluntarily confided everything as if I had been, I will not say her brother, but her dearest sister), but all those who saw her in the presence of the beloved youth, were very certain of her passion. Loving thus as fervently as a very loving soul can love, she maintained such continence for two years that she never gave this youth any token of loving him, except such as she could not hide; neither would she ever speak to him or receive letters from him or gifts, although a day never passed but she was besought to do both. And I well know how she longed for it, because if she was sometimes able to possess anything secretly that had been the youth’s, she held it so dear that it seemed to be the source of her life and all her weal; and never in all that time would she grant him other pleasure than to see him and let herself be seen, and to dance with him as with the others when she took part in public festivals.
“And since they were well suited to each other in condition, the girl and the youth desired that their great love might end happily, and that they might be man and wife together. The same was desired by all the other men and women of their city, except her cruel father, who out of perverse and strange caprice wished to marry her to another and richer man; and to this the unhappy girl opposed naught but very bitter tears. And the ill-starred marriage having been concluded, with much pity from the people and to the despair of the poor lovers, even this blow of fortune did not avail to destroy the love so deeply rooted in their hearts; which still endured for the space of three years, although she very prudently concealed it and sought in every way to stifle those desires that now were hopeless. And all this time she kept her stern resolve of continence; and as she could not honourably possess him whom alone in the world she adored, she chose not to wish for him in any wise, and to follow her custom of accepting neither messages nor gifts nor even glances from him; and in this fixed resolve, the poor girl, overcome by sharpest anguish and grown very wasted from long passion, died at the end of three years, preferring to renounce the joys and pleasures so eagerly desired, and at last her very life, rather than her honour. Nor was she without ways and means of satisfying herself quite secretly and without risk of disgrace or any other harm; and yet she abstained from that which she herself so greatly desired and towards which she was so urged continually by the person whom alone in the world she desired to please: nor was she moved therein by fear or any other motive than mere love of true virtue.
“What will you say of another, who for six months spent nearly every night with a dearly cherished lover; yet, in a garden full of sweetest fruits, invited by her own most ardent longing and by the prayers and tears of one dearer to her than life itself, she refrained from tasting them; and although she was caught and held in the fast bonds of those beloved arms, she never yielded herself vanquished, but preserved the flower of her chastity immaculate.
44.—“Do you think, my lord Gaspar, that these acts of continence are equal to Alexander’s?—who (being most ardently enamoured, not of Darius’s women, but of that fame and greatness which incited him by thirst for glory to endure toils and dangers to make himself immortal) spurned not only other things, but his own life, in order to win renown above all other men. And do we marvel that with such thoughts at heart he abstained from something he did not much desire? For since he had never seen the women before, he could not possibly love them in a moment, but perhaps even loathed them because of his enemy Darius; and in that case every wanton act of his towards them would have been outrage and not love. Hence it is no great thing that Alexander, who conquered the world no less by magnanimity than by arms, abstained from doing outrage to women.
“Scipio’s continence also is much to be praised. Yet if you consider rightly, it is not to be compared with these two women’s; for he too likewise abstained from something not desired;—being in a hostile country, newly in command, at the beginning of a very important enterprise; having left great expectations of himself at home, and bound to render an account to very strict judges, who often punished very small mistakes as well as great, and among whom he knew he had enemies; conscious also that if he acted otherwise (the lady being very noble and married to a very noble lord), he might arouse so many enemies and in such fashion that they might long hinder and perhaps quite snatch away his success. Hence, for reasons thus many and important, he abstained from a light and harmful wish, displaying continence and generous uprightness; which, as it is written, gave him the entire good will of those nations, and was worth another army to him, wherewith by gentleness to conquer hearts that perhaps would have been unconquerable by force of arms.[[411]]
. . . . . .