The Magnifico continued:
“If he must speak or write, let him do it with such modesty and so warily that his first words shall try her mind, and shall touch so ambiguously upon her wish as to leave a way and certain loophole that may enable her to feign not to see that his discourse imports love, to the end that he may retreat in case of difficulty and pretend that he spoke or wrote to some other end, in order to enjoy in safety those intimate caresses and coquetries that a woman often grants to him who she thinks accepts them in friendship, and then withholds them as soon as she finds they are received as demonstrations of love. Hence those men who are too precipitate and venture thus presumptuously with a kind of fury and stubbornness, often lose these favours, and deservedly; for every noble lady regards herself as little esteemed by him who rudely wooes her before having done her service.
66.—“Therefore in my opinion the way that the Courtier ought to take to make his love known to the Lady, seems to me to be by showing it to her in manner rather than in words;—for verily more of love’s affection is sometimes revealed in a sigh, in reverence, in timidity, than in a thousand words;—next by making his eyes to be faithful messengers to bear the embassies of his heart, since they often show the passion that is within more clearly than the tongue itself or letters or other couriers: so that they not only disclose thoughts, but often kindle love in the beloved’s heart. Because those quick spirits that issue from the eyes, being generated near the heart, enter again by the eyes (whither they are aimed like an arrow at the mark), and naturally reach the heart as if it were their abode, and mingling with those other spirits there and with that subtle quality of blood which they have in them, they infect the blood near the heart to which they have come, and warm it, and make it like themselves and ready to receive the impression of that image which they have brought with them. Travelling thus to and fro over the road from eyes to heart, and bringing back the tinder and steel of beauty and grace, little by little these messengers fan with the breath of desire that fire which glows so ardently and never ceases to burn because they are always bringing it the fuel of hope to feed on.
“Hence it may be well said that eyes are the guide in love, especially if they are kind and soft; black, of a bright and gentle blackness, or blue; merry and laughing, so gracious and keen of glance, like some wherein the channels that give the spirits egress seem so deep that through them we can see the very heart. Then the eyes lie in wait, just as in war soldiers lurk in ambush; and if the form of the whole body is fair and well proportioned, it attracts and allures anyone who looks upon it from afar until he approaches, and, as soon as he is near, the eyes dart forth and bewitch like sorcerers; and especially when they send out their rays straight to the eyes of the beloved at a moment when these are doing the same; because the spirits meet, and in that sweet encounter each receives the other’s quality, as we see in the case of an eye diseased, which by looking fixedly into a sound one imparts thereto its own disease. So methinks in this way our Courtier can in great part manifest his love for his Lady.
“True it is that if the eyes are not governed with skill, they often most disclose a man’s amourous desires to whom he least would do so; for through them there shines forth almost visibly that ardent passion which (while wishing to reveal it only to his beloved) the lover often reveals also to those from whom he most would hide it. Therefore he who has not lost the bridle of reason, governs himself cautiously and observes time and place, and abstains when needful from such intent gazing, sweetest food though it be; for an open love is too difficult a thing.”
67.—Count Ludovico replied:
“Sometimes even openness does no harm, for in this case men often think such a love affair is not tending to the end which every lover desires, seeing that little care is taken to hide it, nor any heed given whether it be known or not; and so, by not denying it, a man wins a certain freedom that enables him to speak openly with his beloved and to be with her without suspicion; which those do not win who try to be secret, because they seem to hope for and to be near some great reward that they would not have others discover.
“Moreover I have often seen very ardent love spring up in a woman’s heart towards a man for whom she had at first not had the least affection, simply from hearing that many deemed them to be in love; and I think the reason of this was because such an universal opinion as that seemed to her sufficient proof to make her believe the man worthy of her love, and it seemed as if report brought her messages from the lover much truer and worthier of belief than he himself could have sent by letters and words, or another for him.
“Thus, this public report not only sometimes does no harm, but helps.”
The Magnifico replied: