The writing of notes in the third person is now confined to notes of invitations, acceptance, and regret.
Nothing would show greater ignorance than signing one’s name to a note written in the third person.
In addressing a clergyman it is customary to commence with “Reverend Sir.” Doctors of Divinity and of Medicine are thus distinguished: “The Rev. James Swift, D. D.,” or “Rev. Dr. Swift;” “I. G. Latham, M. D.,” or “Dr. Latham.”
In writing to servants, it is customary to begin thus: “To Mary Bates,—Mrs. White wishes, etc.”
When a woman is writing to strangers who will not know whether to address her in reply as “Mrs.” or “Miss,” the address of the writer should be given in full, after signing her letter, as, “Mrs. Jane Smith,” followed by the direction; or, if unmarried, the “Miss” should be placed in marks of parenthesis preceding the signature. One should never sign her name as “Mrs.” or “Miss.”
The formal manner of address in a note or letter written in the first person, is, “My Dear Mrs. Brown;” the less formal is “Dear Mrs. Brown.” To an intimate friend one may use either. “Dear Mary” is less formal than “My Dear Mary,” and yet to one who is near, the real significance of the latter form is very sweet and full of tender meaning. However, there are no rigid laws to regulate the correspondence of friends.
When a woman writes a personal note to a man, no matter how slight her acquaintance may be with him, it should begin “My Dear Mr. Brown.”
Ordinary social correspondence, when forwarded by the hand of an adult socially equal with the sender, should not be sealed. If, for some reason, a letter must be sealed, then the post or some other method of letter conveyance should be used.
The form “Addressed” on an envelope is merely the relic of an old legal form that has no especial significance nowadays, but is put on the envelope as a matter of courtesy. It means that the contents of the envelope are for the person whose name is written on the outside. It is very seldom used, and is quite superfluous.
Only letters of unmarried women and widows are addressed with their baptismal names. All letters of married women should bear their husband’s names; as, “Mrs. John Howe.”