The calling code demands that soon after a second caller is announced, the caller who was first present shall take leave of the hostess. The reason for this rule is obvious: visitor number one has already had a little time of uninterrupted tête-à-tête with the hostess before visitor number two appeared, and he or she should generously retire first, so that visitor number two may have the same privilege. But while this is the law, it depends somewhat on circumstances whether it is always carried out. If the first caller is an intimate friend of the hostess, and has come to have a long informal talk with her, and the second caller is merely a formal visitor whose obvious intention is to make a ceremonious visit, then the first comer may, with perfect propriety, outstay the other; or if the hostess has particularly asked the former to remain until after the latter goes, he may do so, and, of course, if the first visitor has come for some special reason, and the visitor who is announced later interrupts an important conversation, which, for business or other reasons, should be continued, the former is naturally justified in transgressing the calling code. All things being equal, however, it is the place of the first comer to be the first goer; and one must have a very good excuse for outstaying a caller who comes later.
Guests who are invited to attend one large reception which is given for the express purpose of introducing a young woman into society, should make a call after the reception, but if the débutante is introduced at a series of “days,” the callers need call but once, on one of the “days.”
An invitation to any kind of “day” or reception demands a card from a person who is unable to attend the function; and the card should be sent on the day of the reception, even if the invitation to the function has been already answered, and even if an after-call is in order.
When one calls on an acquaintance who is staying with a relative, the caller should ask for the latter (the hostess), even if she does not know her, and she should leave one of her own and one of her husband’s cards for her, as well as one of each for her friend. It is not obligatory to leave two of her husband’s cards for each woman. Even in the most formal visiting, it is optional whether one leaves one or two cards. Probably the hostess will excuse herself altogether; but the caller must show her the courtesy of asking for her.
In making a call it is proper to give one’s card to the servant who opens the door, if it is not a regular reception day; but on such an occasion the card should be left either in the dressing-room or on the hall table in passing out.
In making a formal call ten minutes is quite long enough to stay.
When one is returning visits and driving, it would be in very bad taste to have the coachman get off his box and take the card to the door. It is the woman’s place to deliver her card in person, unless she has a footman to attend to it for her.
In making an evening call a man should appear about half-past eight, and remain an hour. Even if his visit is to the daughter, he should ask for her mother.
It is quite proper, when making calls with a friend, for one to write her name in pencil on her friend’s card, if she has no card of her own with her.
Those women whose households are most modest find that the day “at home” is a great convenience, since, having a special time for receiving one’s friends, all necessary arrangements can be made beforehand, and no embarrassing situations are apt to occur.