CHAPTER
I. [The "Ferts"]
II. [Otto]
III. [A. E.'S Bath and Brock's Benefit]
IV. [The Messless Mess]
V. [Climate at the Front]
VI. [The Padre]
VII. [The Riding-Master]
VIII. [National Anthem]
IX. [Horse Sense]
X. ["Convey," the Wise It Call]
XI. [Our Mess President]
XII. [Funny Cuts]
XIII. [Leave]
XIV. ["Harmony, Gents!"]
XV. [The Mule and the Tank]
XVI. [War Paint]
XVII. [The Pinch of War]
XVIII. [The Regimental Mascot]
XIX. [War Vegetation]
XX. [A Change of Front]
XXI. [Antonio Giuseppe]
XXII. ["I Spy"]
XXIII. [A Faux Pas]
XXIV. [Mon Repos]
XXV. ["Fly, Gentle Dove"]
XXVI. [There and Back]
XXVII. [Hot Air]
XXVIII. [The Convert]
XXIX. [A Best Cure]
XXX. [The Harriers (I)]
XXXI. [The Harriers (II)]
XXXII. [The Camera Cannot Lie]
XXXIII. [Lionel Trelawney]
XXXIV. [The Booby Trap]
XXXV. [The Phantom Army]
THE MUD LARKS
I
THE "FERTS"
When I was young, my parents sent me to a boarding school, not in any hopes of getting me educated, but because they wanted a quiet home.
At that boarding school I met one Frederick Delano Milroy, a chubby flame-coloured brat who had no claims to genius, excepting as a littérateur.
The occasion that established his reputation with the pen was a Natural History essay. We were given five sheets of foolscap, two hours and our own choice of subject. I chose the elephant, I remember, having once been kind to one through the medium of a bag of nuts.
Frederick D. Milroy headed his effort "The Fert" in large capitals, and began, "The fert is a noble animal——" He got no further, the extreme nobility of the ferret having apparently blinded him to its other characteristics.
The other day, as I was wandering about on the "line," dodging Boche crumps with more agility than grace, I met Milroy (Frederick Delane) once more.