Fair reader (and unfair one, of either sex), I pray you be not dismayed by the profundity of this discourse. Doubtless there are some light-minded observers who would have seen in the natural phenomena herein recorded the very quintessence of humor, the apotheosis of the comical. Such pretenders to scientific and literary eminence would entertain the same view of the noble Titanotherium Robustum, or the sublime Stegosaurus Ungulatus. They would have cast merry doubts upon the improving conversation between Balaam and his Ass; ridiculed the psychic resources of the Birds of St. Francis d’Assisi; scoffed at the gratitude of Æsop’s Lion; denied the acumen of the Jumping Frog of Calaveras; yea, and presumed to say “scat” to the sacred Cat of Bubastis.
Fair reader (or unfair one), be warned against all such triflers with the important truths of nature. Life is earnest. Turn the page—read, ponder, and be wise.
C. D.
Contents
| Preliminary and Confidential | [vii] |
| PART I | |
| Initiation of the Two-Legged Partners | [1] |
| PART II | |
| Fair Warning to the Horseless | [39] |
| PART III | |
| Pig-Malion and Galatea | [67] |
| PART IV | |
| The Obsequies of Bos Nemo | [98] |
| PART V | |
| Equus Minor, Detective | [127] |
| PART VI | |
| Taurus Cupid, Esq. | [157] |
Illustrations
| “I wouldn’t roost in a cherry tree” (page [30]) | [Frontispiece] |
| The goat seemed to nod his approval | [44] |
| Sit perfectly still for five minutes while the gentleman takes your picture | [92] |
| Seized her hand and kissed it ardently | [126] |
| The guests ate their turnips decorously | [150] |
| All the four-legged members of the firm had drawn near | [168] |
GAMBOLLING WITH GALATEA