If you ask us how we ride, See our cars and step inside: Cars of most convenient size, Cars enchanting tourists' eyes, Pullman Palace sleeping cars, Free from dust, from noise, from jars; Cars with soft reclining chairs, Where we nestle free from cares; Cars no cynic can place fault on, Chicago, Kansas City, Alton. Spite of distance, time, or weather, See three cities link'd together.
CEILA— That is extremely true and very pretty. Moreover, it is a very noble employment, this acting in behalf of the foremost railway of the world. Still, we are not altogether happy. Since our queen banished Iolanthe, our life has not been a transcendent one.
LEILA— Ah, Iolanthe was a whole team, and, like the Alton Road, she was the only one in the crowd who carried a proper train. But according to the laws of Fairydom, she committed an unpardonable sin. The fairy who marries a mortal must die.
CEILA— But Iolanthe is not dead. (Enter Fairy Queen.)
QUEEN— No, because your queen, who loved her as much as a member of the State legislature loves a railway pass, commuted her sentence to travel for life on other lines, and sooner than do it she confined herself in a pond.