ELLA—We care nothing for railroad conductors.
(Exit the ladies in sorrowful procession. Enter the railroad conductors. They march around to chorus.)
The conductors of our land are linked in friendly tether,
Upon the railroad train they make their friends together;
There every mother's son prepared to make a friend is.
The comrade of one, The comrade of all is,
The comrade of one, The comrade of all is.
(Enter the Grand Commander of the Order of Conductors, Colonel Blue, of the Chicago & Alton Railroad.)
G· C·—(Sings.)
When I first put this uniform on
I said as I looked in the glass,
It's one to a million, that any civilian
My figure and form will surpass.
Gold lace has a charm for the fair,
And I've plenty of that, and to spare.
While a lover's professions,
When uttered on Hessians
Are eloquent ev'rywhere;
A fact that I counted upon
When I first put this uniform on.
CHORUS.
By a simple coincidence, few
Could ever have reckoned upon,
The same thing occurred to us, too,
When we first put this uniform on.