Each little fault of temper and each social defect

In my erring fellow creatures I endeavor to correct.

To all their little weaknesses I open people’s eyes,

And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise.

I love my fellow creatures, I do all the good I can,

But everybody says I’m such a disagreeable man,

And I can’t think why.

For all who do me favors I’ve a withering remark,

And as for beating railroad lines, I think it quite a lark,

I wheedle out free passes, and I call the road a sham,