I go into the smoking car, and remark I never smoke,
And when the weeds are all put out, I explain it’s all a joke,
You see, I try to make myself as pleasant as I can,
Yet! Everybody says I’m such a disagreeable man,
And I can’t think why.
And yet, with all my little whims I really must decline
To say a single word against the fav’rite Alton Line.
To speak in praise of anything goes hard against the grain,
But I really never was upon such a perfect train.
I had dinner in a dining car, which every want could fill,