THE ALTON MEN ARE APPRECIATED.
(Enter the Princess Ida.)
IDA—Women of Adamant, gathered together for the noble purpose of shunning that vile creature known as man, listen while I a tale unfold. Our undertaking is a noble one. We, women assembled as we are in this retreat, know full well the uselessness of man. Let nothing tempt you from your path of sworn duty, and yet! methinks, the dangerous proximity of that horrid Alton road is a glittering temptation to some of your thoughtless heads. If by chance your eyes should light upon one of the creatures they call their officials, let not their gaudy tinsel turn your giddy brains. It is true that they dress with exquisite taste, that their manners are those which Lord Chesterfield so highly commended, that they belong to the only railroad corporation in the world which even I can look upon with feelings akin to admiration. It is true also—this fact I cannot deny—that the equipment of the Alton Line is as near perfection as human ingenuity can make it. That their train service is perfect, their cars superb, their track as smooth as the skin on my face, and that they run the only through train worth taking between Chicago and Kansas City, and all points West. I can say this fearlessly. Their tracks are but steel, their cars merely wood and metal, and we have nothing to fear from wood and metal. But beware of their officials. Do not be deceived into thinking that because a man is godlike in appearance, he is anything but a man after all. With all their grace, their outward charms and pleasing manners, these creatures would win your hearts, and wear them too, with all the assurance with which one of us would knock the top off an egg for breakfast. This much being said, I beg you to follow me to partake in the usual exercises of the day.
(Exit Princess, followed by the ladies of the seminary. The sound of an engine whistle is heard. Then enter Hilarion, Cyril and Florian at back, creeping cautiously.)
TRIO.
Gently, gently,