“Well yo’ see awm noan rightly sure. But put it at forty–two or three, an’ a gamey leg to boot.”
“Limps dunnot run i’ fam’lies,” replied my mother with conviction. “There was that lad o’ Crowthers ’at fell off a scaffold twenty foot high an’ had to be taken to th’ ’Firmary at Leeds, an’ came back wi’out his arm an’ went about wi’ th’ left sleeve o’ his jacket pinned across his chest an’ wed Kerenhappuch Hoyle, which aw shall allers say were no name to give a Christian woman, tho’ Mr. Webster did say it meant ‘the horn of beauty’: an’ yet when th’ first child came, an’ Kerenhappuch that anxious as never was an’ not knowing for certain whether to mak th’ long clo’es wi’ one sleeve or two, it had two as fine arms as ever yo’d wish to see on a babe. So it’s clear arms isn’t like squints, which it’s well known run i’ families same as bald heads, an’ it stan’s to reason if arms dunnot legs winnot, not to name a bit of a limp.”
“That seems to settle it,” admitted Jack.
“An’ han yo’ fixed yo’r mind on anyone particler, Jack? Awm sure yo’n ta’en time enough, an’ reason enough too you should. Marry i’ haste an’ repent at leisure’s God’s truth, an’ aw’ve no patience wi’ young folk weddin’ ’at could awmost go to th’ hedge an’ see their nippins.”
“Nay, ma’am,” said the foxy warrior, “In so weighty a matter aw thowt it best to seek advice, and who can counsel me better nor yo’rsen.”
“Aw thank yo’ for the compliment, Soldier, Aw will say that it’s th’ army for puttin’ a polish on a man if he do get but little moss. All i’ good time for th’ moss. An yo’ll be lookin’ maybe for a tidy body wi’ summot o’ her own put bye. A decent, quiet, God–fearing, steady woman, that could manage a house an’ make yo’ comfortable. There’s Betty Lumb, now, o’ th’ Town End. She’s pretty warm, I’ll be bun, for she spends nowt.”
“‘Why she’s forty, ma’am, if she’s a month, an’ wi’ a tongue like a flail.”
“An’ what age might yo’ be thinkin’ on, Soldier?” asked my mother with asperity, suspicion in her voice.
“Well, aw haven’t fixed to a year or two, but she mun be younger nor that. Else what about discipline, ma’am, what about discipline? ‘Discipline must be maintained,’ the Duke always said, and, zounds, I agree with him.”
And Jack made his escape leaving my mother the agreeable task of turning over in her mind all the single women of middle age for miles around, weighing their merits and by no means unmindful of their failings.