These exercises are no more than illustrations. Leading couples are inventing new ones all the time, and there seems to be no limit to their ingenuity. The books by Herbert Otto and Gerald Smith, listed in the bibliography, are full of good ideas.
In essence, these were the experiences in which we and our nine trainee couples were involved during the crowded hours we spent together at Pendle Hill. Before they took their departure, we enjoined them not to try to repeat anything we had done unless they could do so entirely naturally and comfortably. They would develop their own patterns of leadership, and these would be more effective than anything we had taught them.
EVALUATION AND REAFFIRMATION
The follow-up retreat at Pendle Hill was much more than a reunion or season of rejoicing. We undertook together an intensive evaluation of what had been experienced. One couple, for example, had had to cope with a marriage in serious conflict so we set up a role-playing re-enactment of the situation to serve as a learning experience for the whole group.
We also tried to pool our ideas about the best way to plan and lead marriage enrichment retreats. Our agenda covered the following areas:
Organizing the Retreat. Time, place, cost, recruitment of couples, size of group, preparatory materials.
Methods and Techniques. Introductions, agenda, directing discussion, dividing up, special exercises, crisis situations, evaluation.
Leadership Roles. Qualifications, goals, training, couple teamwork, preparation, vulnerability, follow-up.
Future Plans. Further retreats, training new leaders, cooperation with other groups, books and materials.
Other Areas for Enrichment. Retreats for youth, premarital couples, parents and teen-agers, solo parents, senior citizens, Meeting members.