The man endowed with poise enters a gathering politely yet indifferently, ordering his manner not to suit the particular occasion but as a matter of instinct. He will go naturally to those whom he happens to know, will shake hands with them, and will say to each one the thing that he ought to say.
If a mother he will ask news of her children. He will offer congratulations to the man who has just been publicly honored. Presence of mind will not desert him for a moment; he will commit no blunders. He will avoid the necessity of meeting a former friend with whom he has fallen out and will pass him without speaking. He will not talk of deformities to a man who is deformed. In a word, his poise, while leaving him free to exercise all his faculties, will give him the opportunity to remember a thousand details, the performance as well as the omission of which will create much sympathetic feeling toward him among the people whom he meets.
The man who does not yet possess poise, will be wise if he follows the recommendations we have made, that is by preparing his speeches to be made upon entering. In those cases where he is not absolutely sure of the relationship of people or of the condition of health of the person to whom he is speaking, he had better avoid these topics. Silence is not infrequently an indication of poise.
THE THOUGHT OF SUCCESS
But to emerge successfully from all these difficulties, one must believe that one can do it, banishing absolutely from one's mind the doubt, that, like leprosy, attacks the most well-made resolutions, transforming them into hurtful indecision.
The mere thought, "I will succeed," is in itself a condition of success. The man who pronounces these words with absolute belief implies this sentence: "I will succeed because I will succeed and because I am determined to employ every legitimate means to that end!"
Avoid also all grieving or melancholy over past failures, or, if you must be occupied with them, let it be without mingling bitterness with your regrets.
Say to yourself: "It is true. I failed in that undertaking. But from this moment I propose to think of it merely to remind myself of the reasons why I failed.
"I wish to analyze them sincerely, while recognizing where I was in the wrong, so that under similar circumstances I can avoid the repetition of the same mistakes."
Fools and knaves are the only people who complain of fate.