"Well, forget Denny for a minute. I just need to know how to get to
Seltsam. Is it an avenue? A street?"
"How to get to Seltsam-ee Street!" Rhonda sang, her voice growing farther away.
Just how wasted is she this time? Julia wondered. "Hello! Earth to
Rhonda! Put the phone back to your ear, darling. Tell me where
Seltsam is and I'll let you get back to… whatever it was you were
doing."
"Oh, I've been up to my eyeballs in what I've been doing — !"
Julia nearly hung up the phone, but decided she had to try one more trick before giving up. She leaned against the counter and tried to make her voice sound threatening. "Tell me where Seltsam is or I'll send you off God knows where!"
There was a sobering silence at the other end. "What?"
"You know what I mean. Zap! You're somewhere else. Only it'll be worse than Tranquil. Worse than Wisconsin!"
"Arkansas?!" Rhonda shouted with disgust.
"What's so bad about — I mean, yes, Arkansas! Right in the middle of… of Hindsville! In Madison county. A dry county!"
"Oh God, no!" Rhonda wailed.