The young Lady who was the Innocent occasion of this unfortunate Accident, took little Rest after she was inform'd of the Contents of the Note left by her Kinsman, and her Concern grew upon her when she understood Captain Ramkins was out of his Lodgings all Night; thus she remain'd under great Inquietudes till Three a Clock the next Day, when she, with her Landlady and Daughter, took a Coach privately and drove directly to the Place where the Gentlemen were to meet according to the Contents of the Letter. They discharg'd their Coach upon a pretence of taking a Walk in the Fields, and after a small Tour the Landlady's Daughter put her Foot into a Cake of clotted Blood, but it was so chang'd, as to the Colour, that she could not well distinguish what it was, but at a little distance finding a Glove, and several Blades of Grass ting'd with a Vermillion Dye, being press'd down and ruffled as it were with some Cattle weltring and tumbling about. They had a strong Suspicion one of the Gentlemen had ended his Days upon the Spot, and to clear their Suspicion, they walk'd back into the City till they arrived at the Petite Chastelet, which is a publick Room in the Nature of a Guard Bed, where all Corps are expos'd to view and whither People usually go in quest of any of their Friends, or Acquaintance that are wanting. And here the young Gentlewoman was quickly satisfy'd that her Cousin's Rashness had brought him to his End. This Accident happening not long before I came to Paris, the Discourse of it was very fresh, and what occasion'd me to have an account of it at my first Arrival, was my Lodging at the same House with my Brother, it being the usual Lodgings for English and Scotch. 'Tis true that Landlady and her Daughter where remov'd to Orleans, where they had an Estate belonging to their Family, but the young Lady, Cousin to the deceas'd Officer, was still in her old Apartment. I had not been above three Days, but my Name began to be known as well by the Direction of some Letters I receiv'd out of Germany, as by other means there are of having such Things divulg'd. The young Lady was not so struck with the Horror of the Name of her Cousins Murtherer, as not to have the Curiosity to peep at me as I came in and out of my Lodgings, and the more, because I had so great a Resemblance to him both as to Figure and Features, that without any extraordinary Skill in Physiognomy, she might conclude I was either his Brother or some near Relation. Now whether my Brother's Cavaliers Carriage had left an Idea in the Lady's Head which she could not conveniently part with, or her Inquisitiveness after me was only a Female Curiosity, I am not able to determine, but it was very unfortunate to me to have been so near a Kin to one she admired in case it was so, or that her Inquisitiveness should make me so publick; for I had not been in Paris above Eight Days, but the Archers or City Guards took me out of my Bed at Four a Clock in the Morning, and carried me to Prison upon strong Suspicion of being that very Captain Ramkins who had kill'd the French Officer in a Duel. Captain Ramkins I certainly was call'd at my own Request, having taken that Travelling Name as all Independent Gentlemen do, who cannot tell well what Title to give themselves upon the Road. My case had no very good Aspect at the beginning. There were so many Circumstances to render me suspected, that though I was satisfy'd my Life was not in Danger, yet it was an easy Thing to perceive it wou'd be both a troublesome, and also a chargeable Spot of Work. The first Thing I did was to send for my Brother-in-law, whom I employ'd as my Solicitor, to lay a true Narration of the Fact before the King's Attorney. My Counsel advis'd me to Subpoena the young Lady, who wou'd be a material Witness that I was not the Captain Ramkins chargeable with the Fact, which she seem'd willingly to acquiesce to; but some of the deceased Friends endeavour'd to invalidate her Affidavit, upon a pretence, that there was too great an Intimacy between her and Captain Ramkins. However, to put the Contest upon an Issue which would allow of no Reply, I procured the Testimonies of several Officers in the Army, that I was actually upon the Rhine when the Duel was fought at Paris, besides the corroborating Evidence of several Irish Gentlemen who liv'd in Paris and at St. Germains, who were ready to offer their Oaths I was not the Man. 'Tis incredible to think what Pains the deceas'd Gentleman's Relations took to destroy me, though I have the Charity to think they judg'd I was the Person they sought after, though it is somewhat unintelligible they wou'd not Credit the young Lady their Cousin. This Affair help'd me off with the greatest Part of my ready Money, for 'tis a Blessing which attends all Law-Suits, that the Gainer is oblig'd to refund to the Lawyers what he recovers from his Adversary, and for my part, I pay'd pretty dear for an Authentick Copy of my Innocence; and the Carriage of the Court to me was such, as if I had been particularly favour'd in not being hang'd instead of my Brother.
After this troublesome Business was over, I began to enjoy my self a little in the Diversions of Paris; and by the Assistance of my Brother-in-law, I had a good Guide in him to view several of the Curiosities that City abounds with, though I cannot say I took any extraordinary relish that way, for my Thoughts being chiefly upon War, I digested other Matters as a nice Appetite does improper Food. It was my Intention to go over to Ireland, and to made that undertaking less chargeable to me, I endeavour'd to procure a Commission, which was no difficult matter at that Time, especially to one who was provided with a little Money to facilitate the Grant. I did not stick much upon the Nature of the Commission, for my Years, and small Experience could make no very extraordinary Demands; so I was Registred as a Lieutenant, which I, according to the usual Custom, upon receival dexterously improv'd into Captain. Indeed I had very lofty Expectations, and the Affairs of King James went so well at that time in Ireland, that there was not a Footman who follow'd that Prince, but look'd upon his Fortune as made.
These Considerations put me and some others upon a Project of transporting our selves to the North of England, where King James had a very strong Party, and we were inform'd that immediately upon the Reduction of Ireland, as before, the whole Strength of his Army wou'd power in upon England that way. A Day was fix'd to put my Design in Execution, but falling into Discourse a little after with a Person of Experience, he intimated that the Business wou'd not be so near over in Ireland as I imagin'd; for I can assure you, says he, Three Expresses have arrived lately at Versailles, to solicit the French Court for Cannon and Ammunition, without which it wou'd be impossible for King James's Forces to become Masters in Ireland, but that the French were so dilatory in this Affair upon some Politick Views, that it was great Odds that Nation wou'd be quickly recover'd by King William's Forces. This was a misterious Insinuation to one of my small Experience, for my shallow Brain told me, Expedition was the Business of War; whereas I found afterwards it was the Interest of France to spin on the Irish War, and to order Things so, that King William should always have an Army employ'd there; for they look'd upon it as a Chimerical Notion, that the War could be carry'd on into England, or that an Irish Army was capable to reduce England; for France knew very well their own Designs of not intending to send any French Troops to joyn them in England.
I own I never entirely forgot the Reflexion that Gentleman made upon the present Posture of Affairs; but yet I cannot say I assented to his Opinion, however, it wrought so much upon me as to alter my Resolutions of going directly into the North of England; for I govern'd my self by this Dilemma, that in Case Ireland was not reduc'd till I came there, I might have the Opportunity of having a share in the Reduction, but if it was, the Passage between the North of Ireland and England was very short. Upon this Bottom I began my Journey, I took Shipping at Brest and landed at Cork, pursuing the rest of my Journey by Land, upon account of the Danger I was inform'd of in going by Sea; for that several English Men of War guarded the narrow Seas between Dublin and Holy-head. When I came into King James's Army, my first Enquiry was after my Brother, whom you may be sure I entertain'd in the first place with the Consequence of his Duel at Paris; and though he often sigh'd to reflect upon his Misfortune in being the occasion of the French Officer's Death, which might have been honourably avoided; yet he laugh'd plentifully, when he heard the Part I had afterwards in that Melancholy Farce; and rally'd me home when I insisted upon Charges and desired to be reimburs'd with Sixty Louis d'Ors, which that Affair had cost me upon his Account; all the Satisfaction I could get was, that he thought I put a greater Value upon my being his Brother, than to think it over-rated at that trifling Sum: The Life of a Brother, said he, is the only thing that can answer for a Brotherly Affection.
The Scene of Affairs in Ireland was very much alter'd upon raising the Siege of London-derry; Men and Arms were imported from England on all Sides to make Head against King James, and several bloody Skirmishes happen'd in several Parts of the Kingdom. It wou'd make a Volume to account the Marches and Counter-marches both Parties made in that irregular Country to attack and avoid one another. But where ever it was my Lot to engage, the general Complaint was a want of Money, Ammunition and Arms; this (as it cou'd not be otherwise) made us unsuccessful under many promising Advantages. We had Men enough, and those not destitute of Zeal or Courage; but to expose themselves Naked against Arms and Discipline, was a desperate way of Engaging. But France still went upon the old Politick Scheme to gain Advantages upon the Continent by dilatory Proceedings in King James's Affairs; for unless this was their Prospect, was it not a supine Piece of Management to suffer a Body of near Thirty Thousand brave Men to lie unarm'd in the Field above half a Year, when France had Magazines and Stores to furnish above a Million of Soldiers? But as King James was not only to be the Dupe of their great Monarch, but the Sport and Game of his Ministers, besides a general Topick of refusing him an Assistance upon the Politick Motive of prolonging the War. It seems the Chief Minister of State had some private Ends in these dilatory Proceedings, and King James's Cause in Ireland was also to be sacrific'd to this Gentleman's Resentments. The Case was this, Lewis XIV upon great Importunity, and to put a Gloss upon, and lay deep Colours upon his Politicks, condescended so far, as to order five or six Thousand despicable Foot Soldiers for King James's Service in Ireland, with a General at their Head, who had been more accustom'd to lead up a Country Dance than an Army, and better qualify'd to break a Jest than look in upon an Enemy. This General, however, was according to King James's own liking, though contrary to the Chief Minister's Design, who wanted that Post for a Relation of his own. This undesign'd Affront of King James in preferring C.L. to the Minister's Favourite, lost the Battle of the Boyne, and perhaps all Ireland; for the Chief Minister would neither send Arms nor Money to supply that brave Body of Men, but threw them into the Circumstances of either dying unreveng'd, or saving their Lives by Flight. The History of that Battle has so many Eye Witnesses still alive for me to dwell upon it; I shall only make bold to relate what my Fate was upon that unfortunate Day, and how inglorious France withdrew the sham Succours they sent King James. My Post was to Head a Company of Fingalian Granadiers, who were plac'd in an Orchard which hung over a Defilee, through which we expected the Enemy would march after they had pass'd the River. I make bold to stile my Company Granadiers, because they were design'd to be so when first rais'd, but were now arm'd rather like Pioneers than Grenadiers; we had not above a dozen Granadoes, no Bayonets, and several without any Fire-arms; and if the Chief Men of the Action were no better equipp'd, 'tis easy to guess how the Gross of the Army was provided. According to our Expectation, a Party of the Enemy fell into the Trap, and what Shot we had, we let it successively fly at them out of the Orchard; in the mean time, we heard a great Noise behind us, and turning my self about, I saw the Orchard almost surrounded with Horse, which I expected were some of our own Party coming up to support us, but found them to be a Squadron of the Enemy, who immediately summon'd us to yield, or we must expect the last Fate of War. There was no time to Parley, upon which I made a Sign to the Commanding Officer of the Enemy not to proceed to Slaughter, and so out of Twenty Two Men with which I defended that Post, Nine of us fell into the Enemies Hands, the rest dying bravely in the Engagement. Our Entertaintment was what is usually with Prisoners of War, Hunger and hard Lodgings, but in a little Time being remov'd to Dublin, Things were better with me; I had the Liberty of a large Prison and civil Usage. And here it was I met with an excellent Friend, who never fail'd those who make Application to him, I mean a small Bank of Money which my Brother left me, and which I had sent to Dublin per Bill from Newry, that I might run no hazard of being plunder'd in case of a Defeat, and in this I have often applauded my own Caution, that though I have frequently hazarded my Life, I never risqu'd my Substance; if Death happen'd, I was certain of being provided for; and if Imprisonment, I had what wou'd make my Captivity easy, and perhaps, purchase my Enlargement.
'Tis not a being in a Battle that makes a Person a capable Judge how to describe it; every Officer has his Post which he must not depart from, and though he may be able to describe the Situation of the Troops before an Engagement, yet afterwards during the Fight, there is so much Noise, Smoak and Confusion, that for my part, I scarce can give a true Narration of what happen'd within a dozen Yards compass. Upon this Account, I cannot tell in what manner the French Troops behav'd themselves, but I was inform'd they made a tollerable Stand against King William's Army, but that they quickly chang'd it into a running Fight, and very dexterously convey'd both King James and themselves out of Danger, and in a little time out of the Kingdom, directing their March to the next Seaport Town, which was not in the Enemies Hands, from whence they found their way Home. If these Troops were serviceable at the Boyne, they certainly might have been much more useful, if they had remain'd and assisted the Irish the remainder of the War; but they had shown themselves, and that was enough to answer the politick Ends for which they were sent. 'Tis suppos'd after this Defeat at the Boyne, that King James was aware of the French Politics, and so would ne'er think of returning in Person again into Ireland, it being abundantly sufficient if he left two or three active Generals among 'em to Alarm the Enemy and do the Drudgery of the French Court, in making a Diversion to favour his Conquests in other Parts of the World. But to return to the Series of my own Story, I had now obtain'd Liberty of the City of Dublin upon Paroll, and spent my Life pretty agreeable, especially when I understood that a kind of a Cartel was fix'd, and there was no Danger of a Halter. My long stay in Dublin brought me acquainted with several General Officers of King William's Army, who were my Countrymen and well acquainted with my Family. The great Respect they showed me, was, as I perceiv'd at long run, in order to debauch me from King James's Service; but it was not in my power at that time, to remove the Scruples I was entangled in as to the Revolution; besides I had other Motives urgent enough not to engage in the English Service, till I had seen a little more Abroad. But in the midst of all the Disasters I met with, nothing affected me with a more sensible Grief than the Thoughts of Lewis the XIVth's Insincerity, for though it only rid my Mind in the Nature of a Scruple or first Impression, yet I found it grow daily more and more upon me, and often in the height of my Diversions it lay upon my Stomach like an indigested Meal; yet at the same time I durst not mutter the least of this Matter to the greatest Confident I had in the World; for I was sensible what would be the Consequence of such a Liberty of Speech, and that nothing less than perpetual Imprisonment in the Bastile must have atton'd for the Crime, and that King James wou'd have look'd upon himself as oblig'd to have justify'd the Conduct of France, though perhaps he lay under the same Jealousies with myself in regard of French Politics. How often have I, when I have been alone, exaggerated my Folly in engaging in a Cause, which the principal Agent never design'd to bring to an Issue? but then again I have corrected my self for giving way to a false Impression, and condemning the Conduct of so many Thousands who had more Experience than I could lay claim to, and yet willingly went all the Lengths of the French Court. Now as I always had a great Respect for Men of Years and Experience, so I was resolv'd to silence all the Scruples relating to French Politicks, and see an end of the Irish War, not so much under the Influence of a French Power (which never did any real Service to King James in Ireland) but because so many worthy Gentlemen eagerly pursue the Cause, whom I had Reason to think were better Judges of such high Matters than my self. And what in the next place I was to undertake, was how to be releas'd from my Confinement, in which I cou'd find no Difficulty besides a breach of Paroll, my Person being every Day at Liberty, but understanding that several Persons in the same Circumstances with my self, were partly conniv'd at when they made their Escape. I took the same Method, and rather chose to walk off, than wait to be exchang'd, or Bribe for my Enlargement. Perhaps the Reader will expect here to be entertain'd with the remaining Part of the Irish War, especially where I was employ'd; but he must be content to be inform'd in General, That as I made it a Law with my self ne'er to omit any Occasion of improving my self in the Art of War, so I took particular care not to be upon any Foreign Duty in the Day of Action. I was wounded at the Battle of Aghram, where I had one of my Legs broke, and lost two Fingers with the cut of a Sabre. I was at the first Siege of Limerick, and help'd to surprize the Enemy's flying Camp and Provisions they were carrying to supply the main Army that was carrying on the Siege. Afterwards I entred the Town, and remain'd there during the Siege, having the Liberty to pass over into France with the rest of the Irish Troops upon the Articles of Limerick; but there was one remarkable Passage happen'd to me during the Siege of that Town, which I cannot dispense with my self to pass over in Silence; it was rather a casual Matter, than a Design laid, however it equally answer'd the end. At one of the Sallies, in which we design'd to overthrow a Mount they had made to raise a Battery upon, after a smart Engagement, it being in the Night, I had the opportunity to step aside and strip a Dutch Granadier, and immediately putting on his Cloaths I mingled my self with the Enemy's Battalions as they drew back towards their Camp, thus unperceiv'd I had the opportunity the next Morning to view their Works and make my Remarks. But now I was somewhat at a loss how to make a hand of this Stratagem and get back into the Town, nor was I less concern'd how to avoid being discover'd as not belonging to the Enemy; but the Confusion they were in the next Day in burying their Dead and repairing their Works, made me pass undiscover'd till Night, so about Nine at Night when it was throughly dark, I stole to that Side of the Town which lies next to the Sea, and swimming over undiscover'd, I crept under the Wall, and calling softly upon the next Centinel, I inform'd him who I was, bidding him call to the Captain of the next Guard, and bring a Rope and two or three Soldiers to hall me up. I was very welcome to the Garrison, for 'twas suppos'd, I was either kill'd or taken Prisoner in the Sally. This Stratagem, though I had no Design in it at our attacking the Enemy, it being only a sudden Thought, yet it had a very good Event; for the next Sally we made, as I had observ'd, the weakest Part of the Besiegers Works, so I lead a Party of Resolute Men that way, who lost no Time, but levell'd all their Works, and dragg'd a considerable Booty into the Town.
The Wars of Ireland being at an End, and the Articles of Limerick Sign'd, about 15000 regular Troops were Transported into France, besides several Thousands of others, who all proved as useful to the Monarch of France in his Wars in Italy, Spain, Germany, &c. as they had been in making a Three Years Diversion in Ireland, so happy was France in making a Politick use of King James's Misfortune, that Lewis XIV was much a greater Gainer by his being Banish'd, than if he had remain'd in the quiet Possession of his Throne. And now there were several Speculations, what Method the French King wou'd take to make the World believe he had a Design to reinstall King James. The most direct Means was to attempt a Descent, but this was impracticable by the way of Ireland; for if an Army of 30000 Men cou'd not keep it when they were actually in Possession of it, there was no likelyhood of their succeeding in a Descent, nor was it probable, that France would add more Force to them who had so often refus'd them when they were in Circumstances to receive. The most favourable Interpreters of the French King's Politicks, began now to think he had laid all Thoughts of a Restoration aside. King James's Troops were employ'd and scatter'd where they were useless upon that Design, and his Court was modell'd, as if nothing more should be attempted. However it was thought convenient still to carry the Juggle on, and several Methods were made use of to seduce the poor Jacobites in England and St. Germains, that their Work was still going on. Great Respect was shown to the Court of St. Germains by his Most Christian Majesty, with repeated Assurances to stand by them: In the mean time I was permitted to leave the Army, and solace my self for two or three Months at Paris, where, by the Assistance of my old Friend ready Money, I made my self very acceptable. It was my Happiness hitherto never to be engaged in an Intrigue with the Fair Sex; for though several of my Station have diverted themselves that way with much prejudice to their Business, yet I was always so bent upon War, that I cou'd never find spare Hours for such trifling Conversation, for that was the Notion I had of it. A general Whining and Pining away for a Trolloping Girl, was to me a very awker'd and inconsistent Piece of Pageantry; however, I had been often told by Persons of Experience, that no Man had so just an Idea of the World, as he that had been well hamper'd and sower'd by a Love Intrigue; for though Women appear to be only Spectators, and to bear no Sway in the Politicks of the World, yet underhand, the Fate of Kingdoms often hung at their Girdles, and the wisest of Princes often hazarded the Repose of his People for an Hours Dalliance with some Coquet and diverting Creature of the fair Sex. I cannot tell well how it happen'd, but I suppose by not resisting the first impressions of this kind, I found my self far gone in an Intrigue, and that without either Thought or Design; but I understood afterwards that a Breach of Idleness being espy'd in my Conduct, the Roving Deity seiz'd the Advantage and enter'd Sword in Hand. The Gentlewoman who drew me into this Snare, was no otherwise my Acquaintance than by an accidental Visit; but I was so much a Philosopher, as to know that where there is a Sympathy of Humours, all other Considerations are neglected, and a Turk with those Advantages, is as capable to make a Conquest as a Christian. I had at my first entrance upon the Stage of the World made a double Promise to my self, the one was never to hearken to a Love Affair till I had acquired a Stock of Experience, and Money to make that Passion Serviceable and of real Use in an honourable Way; the other was not to graft upon a Foreign Stock; but I was forc'd to humble my self under a violation of both these Purposes; for the Object of my Passion was a Spanish young Lady though of Irish Extraction, her Family Transporting themselves thither about the middle of Queen Elizabeth's Reign. Now I had two or three Difficulties to struggle with relating to this Affair: in the first place, I had not as yet imparted the Secret to the young Lady; again, my Brother's Example gave me grounds to think I cou'd not avoid a Quarrel with some of her Relations; but what chiefly frighted me, was the Plague of Wedding, in case we were both of a Mind, for a keen Hound is not easily call'd off from a hot Scent, till he has either caught or lost his Game. In the midst of these Perplexities, I judg'd 'twou'd be a wise Part to disclose my self to some Persons of Experience in these Matters; for in all the Skirmishes and Sieges I had been at, they never threw me into such a Consternation and Absence of Thought; and accordingly I met with an old Adept in these Affairs. When he heard my Case, after two or three Turns he approach'd me with the serious Air of a Physician, and I thinking he had Design to feel my Pulse, I offer'd him my Hand, which he only shook very gently, saying, Young Man, all the Comfort I can give you is, that you must buy your Knowledge by Experience as I and many others have done before you. All Advice is lost upon a Person in Love. Should I advice you to quit the Enterprize, I know you would not do it. A Halter or an East-India Voyage may do you Service in Case you are refused. In a Word, whatever I advised you to you will certainly do the contrary; However, that you may be said to have lost your Time in coming hither, hasten to the young Lady, tell her in a Franck Cavalier way how Things are with you; give all the vent you can to your Passion; if it blows over, you will be a wary Man hereafter, if it ends in Wedlock, any Body will inform you of the Consequences. While the old Gentleman was entertaining me with this Lesson, my Head grew so dizy, as if some invisible Hand had turn'd it round like a Gigg, so I left him abruptly, and went directly to my Lodgings to Bed, but to this Day I cannot tell, whether I went a Foot or in a Coach my Head was in such a Confusion. The next Morning finding my ideas better rang'd, I propos'd to seize the first Opportunity to let the Lady understand the Difficulties I struggled under upon her Account; but the Nature of our Visits was such, that I cou'd not do it any otherwise than by Letter: Thus when I had once broke the Ice, and that too with a fair Prospect of making Advances, in the next Place I gain'd the Maid by the usual Methods that such Creatures are render'd Obsequious, and under her Conduct methoughts I sail'd prosperously on without the least Rub to my suppos'd Happiness; 'tis true I was at a constant Charge of Presents, Treats, and now and then a Serenade according to the Spanish Customs. But I remember at one of these Midnight Scenes of Gallantry, I saw something that gave me a great deal of Uneasiness; drawing up my Musick under the Lady's Window, besides her Face, which was at the Casement wide open, I saw the Reflexion of a Periwig move towards the Corner of the Window; this made me vehemently suspect somebody had a better place in her Affections than my self, for there was no Male kind belonging to the Family, her Father and Brother, as she told me at other Times, being in Spain, to take care of some Effects they expected by the Flota from the West Indies. However, I endeavour'd to smother this Impression of Jealousy, attributing the Mistake to the Circumstances of Night, Candle Light, or some other false Medium that might ground it, so I was resolv'd to take no notice of it at my next Visit. But it was not long before I met with another Occasion of Jealousy, which cou'd not so easily be banish'd out of my Head. Sitting in the Chocolate House, a young Gentleman was giving himself Airs with a Snuff-box, which to my Eye (and it was my Interest to observe it very narrowly) appear'd to be the very same I had some time before presented the Lady with, and as an aggravating Circumstance, in taking Notice of the Gentleman's Periwig, it had the same Form with the Reflexion I saw up in the Lady's Chamber Window, vid. a flat Top, neither rais'd nor parted in the Middle, which spoke it to be a Piece of English Furniture. The Sight of the snuff-box drew all my Blood into my Heart, and left my pale Cheeks to account for the Consternation, wherefore not able to contain my self had I kept my Ground, I flung out of the Chocolate House, not unobserv'd by the Company to be in some Disorder; but when they look'd out of the Window and saw me stand gazing in the middle of the Street, (for my Motion thither was purely Animal, having no thought whither I was going) it encreas'd their Surprise. However, at three Steps I was got again into the Chocolate House, and with a galliard Air, addressing my self to the Gentleman with the Snuff box, Sir, said I, I confirm the Gift, and may all sniffling Fools that are in Love be serv'd like me. I allow'd no Time for a Reply, but bolting again into the Street, it came into my Head that perhaps two Snuff-boxes might be so much alike, as not to observe the difference without confronting 'em. This Thought gave me a Curiosity to step into a Toyshop, where I desired to have a Sight of the newest fashion'd Snuff-boxes, and when among others, I saw above half a Dozen exactly like that I had made the Lady a Present of, a Secret Confusion spread it self over my Soul to have given way to such Suspicions. The Matyrdom accustom'd by such like Thoughts as these being the usual Entertainment of Persons in my Condition, and I having read in several Moralists, That there can be no true Love without a Mixture of Jealousy, which two rose proportionably, and that Jealousy was the greatest Plague of Human Life. These Considerations, I say, made me Struggle hard to throw off the Tyranny I groan'd under, and it happen'd very luckily for me that within a few Days after the young Lady was sent for into Spain, so that I had in Election either to throw up all my Expectations in France, and follow her, or Moralize a Week or two; upon the Disappointment, and so recover my self again to my Senses, which I quickly did by spending my Time in a Treatise of Algebra and Fortifications. As for the Lady she parted without any Reluctance, and it mortify'd me sensibly, that what I had made a Study and Business of, was only her Diversion and Amusement; but I kept my Resolution never more to divert my self that way, till I was effectually tramell'd.
And now I was preparing to visit Italy, where some of the Irish Forces were then employ'd, and my Company expected me; but before I set out, I had a mind to inform my self better of a certain Report wisper'd at St. Germains, That in a little Time King James would make another Push, and that a Descent in England was certainly in Agitation. Now I was at a Loss how to be truly inform'd of this Matter; the King's Fleet rendevouzing upon the Coast of Normandy, and several Battalions marching that way, look'd something like a Descent, but this was not sufficient to convince me, who knew that such Alarms were often given upon a quite different Score, to what the Generality of People had in View. However, the French laid strong Colours upon this Preparative; first they gave out, That they had bribed most of the English Fleet, so there wou'd be no Danger from that Quarter nor Body to oppose the Descent; again, King James set forth a solemn Manifesto, inviting all his Subjects to rise and take Arms, granting an Amnesty only to such as were specify'd in his Proclamation, and to put the last Stroke to this Master-piece of Policy; the King himself was perswaded to appear at the Head of some Troops upon the Coast of Normandy. The Pill thus guilded, was swallow'd by every Body; I own I was my self charm'd with the Beauty of the Project, and it look'd so like the dawning of a Restoration, that I was resolv'd to make Interest with our General, that I might not return to my Company upon the Borders of Italy; but rather accompany my Prince, and contribute more immediately to conclude the happy Work. While these Matters were in Agitation, I had an Invitation to see the Palace and Gardens of St. Clou, from an old Acquaintance, whom I knew an Officer upon the Rhine, but now was one of the Duke of Orlean's Secretaries. This Gentleman, as we walk'd in St. Clou's Gardens, being inquisitive how I had spent my Time since our last parting, and how my Affairs stood at present, I gave him a short Narration of my Travels and Actions, telling him I was now a Captain of Foot, and had a Promise of a Lieutenant Colonels Commission the next Vacancy, but that I design'd to throw up my Pretensions, and accompany King James. The Gentleman surpriz'd at what I said, I suppose Sir, said he, you must have a fair Prospect of a Place at Court to put it at Ballance with a Lieutenant Colonels Commission, and then turning his Discourse into Raillery, or perhaps says he, you are so taken with the beautiful Enclosures of Normandy, as to think a Tour in that Country will recompence all other Losses. No Sir, said I, but I am in hopes, that as I am one who have been useful to his Majesty in several Capacities, so being near his Person in the Descent, if it prove Successful, as no Body seems to question, so I shall be more in his Majesty's Eye, and in fairer Prospect of climbing, than if I were doing him Service at a Distance. Well, Sir, said he, I am sorry our former Intimacy does oblige me to use the Freedom of disabusing you of this vulgar Error of most of King James's Subjects. I cannot blame them for being desirous to return Home, but they are so Infatuated in their Zeal that way, that they imagine every Step our Monarch takes, tends immediately towards their Master's Restoration; believe me, old Friend, Kings have commonly long Heads, and 'tis well known Lewis XIV has led all Europe through so many Politick Mazes for these Forty or Fifty Years, that he never lets any Body know he is doing a Thing till 'tis in a manner done. All Masters in Politicks look one way and Row another. I own the Preparatives upon the Coast of Normandy look like a Descent, but there are false Attacks upon Kingdoms as well as upon Towns: You are not Ignorant that King William is now at the Head of a powerful Army in Flanders, and that our King is not so well provided there as he expected; Now if King William receives the Reinforcement he expects out of England and Scotland, it will give him that Superiority, that France will not be able to make the last stand on that Quarter; so that 'tis no Secret for us at Versailles, that all this Alarm of a Descent upon England, is a meer blind to make a Diversion, and to hinder the Transportation of the British Forces. But you Jacobites and English are so ragingly dispos'd, to give every Thing a favourable turn towards King James's Cause, that I have frequently observ'd, there can scare be two Men of War sent out of any Port of France, let it be towards the Indies, Mediterranean, or other Places, but you make a Descent of it. But as I insinuated Sir, I am glad I have the Opportunity to set you to Rights as to this Affair, that you may not risque a seeming promising Fortune, by catching a Shadow. The Thoughts of having King James made such a Tool of, would not permit me immediately to be civil to the Gentleman, and return him Thanks for the seasonable Advice; however, after I had recollected my self, I did my Duty in that Respect: But the Idea he gave me of his Masters Politicks left a Deep Resentment on my Soul. Afterwards, as I return'd to Paris, I ruminated upon this Subject, and I saw a thousand Contradictions and Improbabilities in the pretended Descent. The Troops design'd for this Business was very few, and the worst in France; the King's own Subjects were not to be employ'd, unless a few Straglers; besides there were no Transportships, nor in fine, any Thing that look'd like an Attempt to Conquer three Potent Kingdoms. King William had in a manner the whole Kingdom in his Design at his Descent, he also had the English Army secur'd to him, he brought over 15000 Veterans in a Fleet of 600 Sail, but this sham Descent was destitute of all these Advantages. I don't question but Lewis XIV, as he proposed an End in this Politick Amusement, so it answer'd accordingly; but as for poor King James, I know no Benefit either He or his Friends reap'd from it, besides the Fatigue of a Norman Progress, and having all the Jacobites in England imprison'd, fin'd, and plunder'd; so that to gain a few Acres of Land to France, England must be exasperated to let all the Laws loose upon both Protestants and Roman Catholicks that were Well-wishers to King James. And yet though the French Court obtain'd their Ends in one Respect, they suffer'd from the Hand of Providence in another. I wou'd not be thought to pry with too much Curiosity into the hidden Paths of Providence, otherwise I should be apt to judge that the Destruction of the French Fleet at the Hague, look'd somewhat like a Judgment from Heaven for amusing an unfortunate Prince with a false Prospect of Happiness, and yet that loss has been sometimes objected to King James, as marr'd upon his Account, so dextrous are the French in turning Things to their own Credit.
After this you may well imagine I took a new Resolution not to part with the Prospect I had of making my Fortune in the Post I was in, joyning Company therefore with three or four more Officers who belong'd to the same Army in which I serv'd, we set out with all Expedition. I don't remember to have been better diverted upon the Road, since I first knew what it was to Travel; one of our Company was a Provincial, and the very Quintessence of Wit and Gaiety. There was not the most trivial Occurrence but he dexterously made use of it to divert us, particularly at a small Village within a Days Journey of Lions. The Bailiff of the Village coming to our Inn to gather a kind of Tax (as it happen'd to be a Day pitch'd upon for that end) for the Relief of the Poor, the Provincial Gentleman being deputed, the Steward of our Company, fell into some Discourse with the Bailiff in the Kitchin. Among other Things, the Bailiff being mellow, gave him to understand, that though his Mien and Equipage was not extraordinary, yet he was the Chief Man in the Town, and immediately represented the King's Majesty, so that if any of the Company were of Quality, it was his Business to show them that Respect which was due to them. The Provincial had a good Cue to give us a Comical Scene, which all was contriv'd upon the Spot, to drive away a deep Melancholy from one of our Company, who had not spoke a Word in two Days. With that he took the Bailiff aside, Sir, said the Person, we all attend here on the Prince of——Eldest Son, who is going to Travel into Italy. Had there been a Garison here, it ought to have been drawn up at his Entrance, and the Keys of the Town deliver'd to him; but since you are not so provided, you may exert yourselves as much as you can; I suppose you have Musick in the Town? yes Sir said the Bailiff, we have three Violins, a grand Bass, and a Citherne. Do you never exhibit any Plays says the Provincial, or other Antick Performance? No replies the Bailiff, but we have a Sport that comes very near it, which we entertain the Country with twice a Year, viz. at Easter and Whitsunday, and the Parts are now fresh in the Actors Memory. This will do says the Provincial, but see all Things are ready to give the Young Prince the Diversion immediately after Supper, because he durst not sit up very late. As for the Prologue, wherein you are to Address your selves to his Highness, I will furnish you with the Method and Form in which it must be spoke by the School-master of the Town. Now all this was carried on in Privacy from us, tell we were call'd out one by one, all excepting the Chagrin Gentleman, who lay dozing in an two arm'd Chair, to whom we were instructed to pay a singular Respect to during Supper, to blind the Matter. And now the whole Village was drawn about the Inn, to have a Sight of the young Prince. After Supper all the Tables and Chairs were remov'd; the Bailiff enters with his Staff, and according to Information given him, Kneels down and pays his Respects to the suppos'd Prince; After him comes in the Actors in their proper Dresses; and then the School-master, who open'd the Farce with a Comical Address made by the Provincial Officer, which in every Line hinted at some Passage of the Melancholy Gentleman's Life, but with such an Ambiguous turn, and yet home to the Man, that it was an excellent Piece of Diversion, to observe the variety of Motions in the Princes Countenance, who thought all to be Witchcraft and Inchantment. The Force being over, and we left to our selves, the Provincial returning up Stairs from conducting his Troop to the Door, Well, Gentlemen, says he, how do you relish your Diversion? Et vous Monsieur le Prince, if this will not bring you to your self, you shall be Dethron'd at Lyons, and put upon a Level with the rest of the Company; for he that pretends to put on a starch'd reserv'd Air upon a Journey, make himself a Prince by his Distance, and so must either lose his Dignity by being good Humour'd, or pay the Reckoning like a Prince, and that we have Decreed shall be your Choice the Remainder of the Journey. The Provincial gain'd his End, for either this comical Accident was the Occasion, or the Term of the Gentleman's Melancholy was expired; for afterwards he put on a gay Temper, and proved tollerable Company.
We cou'd not content our selves with a single Nights Lodging in Lyons, that City is furnish'd with too many Rarities for the amusement of Strangers, not to partake of a little more of their Money than any Vulgar Inn upon the Road. And as we none of us desired to carry more with us than what wou'd Answer our Travelling Expences, so we joyn'd in a Resolution to divert our selves one Week or ten Days in that Populous Place. I had a Recommendation from Paris to an Irish Clergyman, who was a Prependary here, and a Person of Repute. This Gentleman wou'd oblige me to take a Bed with him during my stay there, which I was very unwilling to accept of upon Account of my Company, however, he said that would be no Inconvenience, since I might take my freedom with them all the Day, in case I wou'd favour him with my Company half an Hour before Bed time in the Evening. I perceiv'd this Goatly Clergyman was of a different Stamp to the Generality of his Countrymen, and had a true Idea of the French Politicks, for discoursing one Night upon the Subject of a Restoration, and finding I was a Person he might deliver his Mind freely to. Certainly, said he, never Prince was more the Game of Politicians and Fools than King James II. His own Friends at home threw him out of his Throne by their forward and indiscreet Management, and now he is bubbled with daily Hopes of Recovering it, when in reality there was never any Design to bring it about. But King James will always be King James, and Judge every Man Honest, who does but pretend to be so; for pray, gave me leave Sir, will it pass for a seizable Story in future Ages. That Lewis XIV should make War in order to Restore James II and keep above 40000 Men in constant Pay, and never employ any of them that way. Twenty thousand Horse would have laid the Three Kingdoms desolate in a few Weeks, but was there so much as one single Dragoon employ'd that way? Was not King James forced to melt his Canon and debase the Coin with it, whilst Lewis XIV could send vast Remittances to Constantinople to Support the Turk? Were not 300000 Men driven like Sheep from the Banks of the Boyne for want of Arms, while what wou'd have furnish'd a Million of Men, were Rusting in the Magazines of France? Were not the Highlanders constantly neglected, and fed with nothing but Promises, till they were reduc'd from a Victorious Army to a Troop of Banditti? Have not the Lives and Fortunes of Thousands in England payed very dear for these French Politics, by being encourag'd to rise up and Precipitate themselves into Ruin, by the Motions of Fleets and Armies upon sham Pretences of making Descents. I own Sir, I am transported when I find an Opportunity to vent my self upon this Subject. Had Lewis XIV been streightned by the Allies, he might have some pretence of not affording so much Assistance as otherwise he might; but in the last War, he was always Victorious both upon the Rhine and in Flanders, and if after the Battle of Steenheer, Fleurs, Landen, and Victories at Sea, besides the vast number of Towns he reduced, he did not think fit to employ his Arms towards restoring King James, I must take the Liberty to think the War was not begun upon his Account, nor that it can be judg'd the Interest of France (unless they act against their own interest, which they are too wise a Nation to do) to have him reestablish'd. But all this, Sir, I speak under the Rose; the Honour of the French Court is too much touch'd by such Reflections as these to suffer them to go unpunish'd if I should be discover'd. But I conclude from my worthy Friend at Paris who gave me your Character, that I might use any freedom in your Company. It may perhaps look like Ingratitude in me to reflect upon a Person by whose Benevolence I possess this Post I have in the Church, which does not only afford me a decent Maintenance, but the Opportunity of obliging a Friend, but as I was a greater sufferer in Ireland, by giving too much into French Projects, so I look upon both this or any other Kindness they can do me, as a piece of Restitution. The Frank and open Satyr of this Clergyman against the French Conduct was very agreeable to my Temper, and I was not backward in seconding him in the same Key. But while we were entertaining our selves with these dismal Reflections, a Servant knock'd at the Chamber Door, so the Gentleman step'd to know his Business, and after about half a Quarter of an Hour return'd again. I have been, says he, this Fortnight engaged in a very troublesome Affair, which is like to have an ill Consequence to the Party concern'd. Here is, says he in Town an Englishman, who has, as he informs me, been studying at a College of that Nation of Rome, but for want of Health is oblig'd to break off his Studies, to have the Benefit of his own Country Air, which the Physicians prescribe to him as the only Remedy to patch up his decaying Constitution: But the poor Gentleman, about Three Leagues out of Town, as he was steering his Course towards Paris, and so Homeward, met with a very unfortunate Accident. Walking on the Road about half an Hour before Sun setting, he was overtaken by a Gentleman who kept pace with him, and ask'd him among other Things how far he design'd to Travel that Night, the Englishman told him he was a Stranger to the Stages upon the Road, but he believ'd he should take the Opportunity of the next Inn, for that it began to grow late. The French Man appear'd very obliging in his Conversation, and told him he should have been glad of his Company, but that he was oblig'd to turn off on the Right Hand to a Friends House, whither he was going to divert himself a Day or Two. They had not gone a Hundred Rood farther, but he stop'd and desired the Englishman if he wou'd take a pinch of Snuff, and then look'd backward and forward with an ominous Countenance, he Collar'd the Englishman, and drawing a small Pistol out of his Pocket, without any farther Ceremony, he cry'd Ou la vie, ou la Bourse. The Business was quickly over, and the Englishman robb'd of all his Stock, which was to the value of Nine Pounds English, besides a little Box of Roman Coin, which were small Pieces of Money he kept for Counters. The Foot-pad, after he had got his Booty, alters his Course, and turns back towards Lyons, charging the Englishman not to pursue him, nor yet go forward till he saw him out of Sight; for if he did, he wou'd certainly return upon him and deprive him of his Life as well as his Money. There was no arguing the Case, and the Surprize was so great, that had there been any way of escaping this Accident, 'tis probable it wou'd not have occurr'd at that time.