There is another Piece of dark Practice here, which lies between Satan and his particular Agents, and which they must give us an Answer to, when they can, which I think will not be in haste; and that is about the obsequious Devil submitting to be call’d up into Visibility, whenever an old Woman has her Hand cross’d with a white Six-pence, as they Call it: One would think that instead of these vile Things call’d Witches, being sold to the Devil, the Devil was really sold for a Slave to them; for how far soever Satan’s Residence is off of this State of Life, they have Power, it seems, to fetch him from home, and oblige him to come at their Call.
I can give little Account of this, only that indeed so it is; nor is the Thing so strange in its self, as the Methods to do it are mean, foolish, and ridiculous; as making a Circle and dancing in it, pronouncing such and such Words, saying the Lord’s Prayer backward, and the like; now is this agreeable to the Dignity of the Prince of the Air or Atmosphere, that he should be commanded forth with no more Pomp or Ceremony than that of muttering a few Words, such as the old Witches and he agree about? or is there something else in it, which none of us or themselves understand?
Perhaps, indeed, he is always with those People call’d Witches and Conjurers, or at least some of his Camp Volant are always present, and so upon the least call of the Wizard, it is but putting off the misty Cloak and showing themselves.
Then we have a Piece of mock Pageantry in bringing those Things call’d witches or Conjurers to Justice, that is, first to know if a Woman be a Witch, throw her into a Pond, and if she be a Witch, she will swim, and it is not in her own Power to prevent it; if she does all she can to sink her self, it will not do, she will swim like a Cork. Then that a Rope will not hang a Witch, but you must get a With, a green Osyer; that if you nail a Horse-Shoe on the Sill of the Door, she cannot come into the House, or go out, if she be in; these and a thousand more, too simple to be believ’d, are yet so vouch’d, so taken for granted, and so universally receiv’d for Truth, that there is no resisting them without being thought atheistical.
What Methods to take to know, who are Witches, I really know not; but on the other Side, I think there are variety of Methods to be used to know who are not; W—— G——, Esq; is a Man of Fame, his Parts are great, because his Estate is so; he has threescore and eight Lines of Virgil by rote, and they take up many of the Intervals of his merry Discourses; he has just as many witty Stories to please Society; when they are well told, once over, he begins again, and so he lives in a round of Wit and Learning; he is a Man of great Simplicity and Sincerity; you must be careful not to mistake my Meaning, as to the Word Simplicity; some take it to mean Honesty, and so do I, only that it has a Negative attending it, in his particular Case; in a Word, W—— G—— is an honest Man, and no Conjurer; a good Character, I think, and without Impeachment to his Understanding, he may be a Man of Worth for all that; take the other Sex, there is the Lady H—— is another Discovery; bless us! what Charms in that Face! How bright those Eyes! How flowing white her Breasts! How sweet her Voice? add to all, how heavenly, divinely good her Temper! How inimitable her Behaviour! How spotless her Virtue! How perfect her Innocence! and to sum up her Character, we may add, the Lady H—— is no Witch; sure none of our Beau Critics will be so unkind now as to censure me in those honest Descriptions, as if I meant that my good Friend W—— G—— Esq; or my ador’d Angel, the bright, the charming Lady H—— were Fools; but what will not those Savages, call’d Critics, do, whose barbarous Nature enclines them to trample on the brightest Characters, and to cavil on the clearest Expressions?
It might be expected of me, however, in justice to my Friends, and to the bright Characters of abundance of Gentlemen of this Age, who, by the Depth of their Politics, and the Height of their Elevations might be suspected, and might give us Room to charge them with Subterranean Intelligence; I say, it might be expected that I should clear up their Fame, and assure the World concerning them, even by Name, that they are no Conjurers, that they do not deal with the Devil, at least, not by the Way Witchcraft and Divination, such as Sir T——k, E—— B——, Esq; my Lord Homily, Coll. Swagger, Jeoffry Well with, Esq; Capt. Harry Go Deeper, Mr. Wellcome Woollen, Citizen and Merchant Taylor of London, Henry Cadaver, Esq; the D—— of Caerfilly, the Marquess of Sillyhoo, Sir Edward Thro’ and Thro’ Bart. and a World of fine Gentlemen more, whose great Heads and Weighty Understandings have given the World such Occasion to challenge them with being at least descended from the Magi, and perhaps engaged with old Satan in his Politics and Experiments; but I, that have such good Intelligence among Satan’s Ministers of State, as is necessary to the present Undertaking, am thereby well able to clear up their Characters: and I doubt not, but they will value themselves upon it, and acknowledge their Obligation to me, for letting the World know the Devil does not pretend to have had any Business with them, or to have enroll’d them in the List of his Operators; in a Word, that none of them are Conjurers: Upon which Testimony of mine, I expect they be no longer charg’d with, or so much as suspected of having an unlawful Quantity of Wit, or having any Sorts of it about them, that are contraband or prohibited, but that for the future they pass unmolested, and be taken for nothing but what they are, (viz.) very honest worthy Gentlemen.
Chap. X.
Of the various Methods the Devil takes to converse with Mankind.
Having spoken something of Persons, and particularly of such as the Devil thinks fit to employ in his Affairs in the World, it comes next of course to say something of the Manner how he communicates his Mind to them, and by them to the rest of his Acquaintance in the World.