“To see a white Staff-maker, a Beggar, a Lord,
“And scarce a wise Man at a long Council-Board.
But I may be told this relates to wise Men in another Constitution, or wise Men as they are opposed to Fools; whereas we are talking of them now under another Class, namely, as Wisemen or Magicians, South-sayers, &c. such as were in former Times call’d by that Name.
But to this I answer, that take them in which Sense you please, it may be the same; for if I were to ask the Devil the Character of the best States-man he had employ’d among us for many Years past, I am apt to think that tho’ Oracles are ceased, he would honestly, according to the old ambiguous Way, when I ask’d if they were Christians, answer they were (his) Privy-Counsellors.
It is but a little while ago, that I happen’d (in Conversation) to meet with a long List of the Magistrates of that Age, in a neighbouring Country, that is to say, the Men of Fame among them; and it was a very diverting Thing to see the Judgment which was pass’d upon them among a great deal of good Company; it is not for me to tell you how many white Staves, Golden Keys, Mareshals Batoons, Cordons Blue, Gordon Rouge and Gordon Blanc, there were among them, or by what Titles, as Dukes, Counts, Marquis, Abbot, Bishop, or Justice they were to be distinguish’d; but the marginal Notes I found upon most of them were (being mark’d with an Asterism) as follows.
Such a Duke, such eminent Offices added to his Titles (* in the Margin) ——— No Saint.
Such an Arch—— with the Title of Noble added, ——— No Archangel.
Such an eminent Statesman and prime Minister, ——— No Witch.
Such a Ribbon with a Set of great Letters added, ——— No Conjurer.
It presently occurr’d to me that tho’ Oracles were ceased, and we had now no more double Entendre in such a Degree as before, yet that ambiguous Answers were not at an End; and that whether those Negatives were meant so by the Writers, or not, ’twas certain Custom led the Readers to conclude them to be Satyrs, that they were to be rung backwards like the Bells when the Town’s on fire; tho’ in short, I durst not read them backward any where, but as speaking of foreign People, for fear of raising the Devil I am talking of.
But to return to the Subject; to such mean Things is the Devil now reduc’d in his ordinary Way of carrying on his Business in the World, that his Oracles are deliver’d now by the Bellmen and the Chimney-Sweepers, by the meanest of those that speak in the Dark, and if he operates by them, you may expect it accordingly; his Agents seem to me as if the Devil had singl’d them out by their Deformity, or that there was something particular requir’d in their Aspect to qualify them for their Employment; whence it is become proverbial, when our Looks are very dismal and frightful, to say, I look like a Witch, or in other Cases to say, as ugly as a Witch; in another Case to look as envious as a Witch; now whether there is any Thing particularly requir’d in the Looks of the Devil’s modern Agents, which is assisting in the Discharge of their Offices, and which make their Answers appear more solemn, this the Devil has not yet reveal’d, at least not to me; and therefore why it is that he singles out such Creatures as are fit only to fright the People that come to them with their Enquiries, I do not take upon me to determine.